6th March 2024
First day on the job. I was ready straight after breakfast, bow saw in hand to tackle the trees in my neighbour’s garden, she had agreed for me to cut them down, as the place was a little overgrown.
I then encountered my first problem, I couldn’t get my work boots on.
It was not that my feet have grown, rather it was the thickness of the socks I was wearing.
Holland winters require some serious feet warmers. The kind I wear are Scandinavian, and are as thick as a moose’s hide. After struggling for ten/fifteen minutes, and fearing that it might bring on a heart attack, I loosened the laces, and my feet slid inside.
I am not a tree feller, fortunately the trunks were thin but tall.
One by one they came down, I was careful that they didn’t fall across the path and damage a neighbour’s fence.
The only tool I had was a small bow saw, and it was difficult, progress was slow, but I kept at it.
It was exhausting work, almost the second time I could have had a cardiac arrest. There would have been a bit of credibility in dying on a proper job rather than just putting work boots on.
Once they were down came the cutting up and separating the thick bits from the thin. I used my chop saw to cut up the trunks.
I then had the idea to burn the thin twigs in my incinerator, but I didn’t have any paper to start it.
I looked in the letter box, there is usually some junk mail in there, and I wasn’t disappointed.
I screwed the paper into tight balls laying the thin twigs on top and striking a match to get it going.
There were flames and smoke, but it didn’t last long. The wood was too damp to catch, it needed something extra. I looked in the shed and found a bottle of white sprit, hurrah! I thought, this will get it going.
I sprinkled the liquid all over the twigs, lit another match and dropped it in expecting a sheet of flames singeing my eyebrows.
Nothing happened, then I checked the bottle, and found that it was non-inflammable.
That is when I gave up for the day.
Another Lifetime to go 