5th July Friday
It was a bad night for Kelli. Although the fireworks went on till past eleven, we delayed going to be until midnight just to make sure.
But she couldn’t settle, she maybe got three or four hours, so the mood was dark.
I don’t know what to do when things get so bad, it becomes my responsibility, and blame hits me like a hammer.
Whatever I choose to do or say just inflames her condition, so I choose to give her space and submerge myself into something.
What I struggle is trying to understand the source of her sleeplessness. The supplements she’s on are supposed to ease any anxiety, but it’s more than that, there is the mental part, the head space, fight or flight, all this and more.
I am fortunate to have not suffered depression or anxiety, I should have, there have been many emotional black spots I’ve endured, but I’ve faced them, knowing what the problem was and worked it out. We wear two cloaks, I use one to shield the other, that how I deal with it, but with Kelli it’s a puzzle and some of the pieces have been misplaced.
Another Lifetime to go 