28th January 2025
We cancelled our food shopping today, because we both felt like crap. Kelli had a bad night, hardly getting any sleep at all. I think I might have got an hour but that was only because I moved out to the living area, and slept on the couch. Kelli complained that she couldn’t get her pillows comfortable, and to her it’s important.
I still don’t understand that, you either pump them up or beat them down, I know she has three pillows and there must be a limit to the possibilities for each pillow, but it’s hard for me to appreciate.
I know I have often admitted that I have bouts of intolerance towards it, and this time it was it.
I have tried hard to support her on her menopausal journey, but this night I failed.
The day was grim, I feel that I’m taking the full force of her anger, and that raises my defence. During that time, and when I’m feeling this way, I don’t want to be here. If I had done something wrong, I would understand, and find the way to correct it, but being caught in a spiral, where no matter what I said and did, would make the ride less traumatic, leaves me helpless.
I know she doesn’t like to be in this mood either, and sometimes she can control her actions. Like earthquakes, often the tremors are slight and others are off the scale, it makes me apprehensive about trying to sleep the next time.
Another Lifetime to go 