Author: peterb51

22nd November2018

I purchased the last of the skirting boards, and wasted no time in cutting them up. I am prepping myself up for a last surge of energy to finish the place.

I had great fun sanding the floor, the sawdust got everywhere even with a mask on, it still got up my nose causing me to sneeze. Sneezing is quite satisfying, I usually do it everyday, and in batches of three or four. The first is just a warning, the second and third are more precise, but a forth is some serious activity. It’s like the final thrust of a drain cleaner when the blockage clears and everything gets released. Coupled with the noise, it puts the shits up the dogs and strain on the chair springs. This happens anywhere, the U.K. and the U.S. Kelli has learnt the warning signs, and tries to prepare for the shock wave. Fortunately there are rarely any projectiles, so far. After the event, I have to relax, maybe smoke a cigarette,( If I ever did) and appreciate the moment.

I was able to apply a coat of finishing oil to the floor, a real sign that the project was drawing to a close.

21st November 2018

I had to fix all the remaining boards down today, it has been going on too long, and I needed to move on.

There was a dig from the neighbours regarding the noise of me banging the nails. They’ve had to put up with a lot over the past year, so it was important to me to ease the inconvenience.

I had a long list of jobs, including trips to the tip.

I had an old drain hole to seal up, so I bought some expanding foam. I had seen everyone using it to do just about everything from filling gaps, sticking electrical sockets to bonding panels,so how difficult can that be?

For starters, there is no “feel” for how much to use as there is a delayed effect. So off I went giving the nozzle a good squeeze. The gook came down the tube and into the hole. After a few seconds it started to grow, and grow at an enormous rate. “Oh shit!” I thought, what had I unleashed?

It rose about six inches out of the hole, and fortunately did not get any larger. It looked like an enormous white head waiting to be squeezed. I left it a couple of hours before tackling the trim-back.

The moral here is never underestimate the amount of expansion in a can of Wickes’s polyurethane foam.

20th November 2018

It’s my birthday, and to celebrate, I will bang more nails into floorboards. This should be finished today, but some of the joists are so out out of true that the boards won’t lay flat, so I had to cut packers to correct them.

For the last two weeks it has been full on, wood, nails and hammering. The hammer and the nails were always at the opposite end of the room, so my poor knees had to keep shuffling up and down. I hadn’t knelt so much since I was a choirboy, and that was a while.

However to the rescue was a gift from Ryan and Louise. The gave me a magnetic wristband which was designed to hold screws, nails, and washers. This was put to work immediately.

In the evening I went for dinner with my favourite people, less Phillip who made some excuse about his wife, Cerys retiring from work.

I suggested he bring her along, but he thought it would be too emotional, and a lot of tears. I said that I would try to control myself.

Along with Helen and Bob, Jeanine, and husband Mark joined us. It was a wonderful evening of terrific Thai food in a place called “Sian Smile”. Bristol is not my favourite place to drive into, but with the aid of GPS and the excitement of meeting everyone I put my fears behind me a traveled to a place far, far away.

19th November 2018

I always seem to be at Wickes, I hope I get on to their Christmas list, I must have spent thousands with them, and they don’t even offer to clean my shoes.

Nicola came up and finished painting the Ikea shelving.

I am amazed how useful the Shogun has been. I was able to get three-metre long packs of floorboards in, and was able to close the back doors.

In the evening, I built up the two shelf units and put them in place. I even set up my TV and binged watched “Friends”

I moved the bed from the living room into the small bedroom, at last things are becoming civilised.

18th November 2018

Where does all this hair come from? I am giving the floor another coat of oil, but with each stroke of the brush another hair appears. It is so annoying, it can’t be coming from me, if it did I would be bald as a coot. It is not bristles from the brush (I get that as well) I believe I am attracting hair from all over the area, which some are long, short and curly.

Out of concern for the neighbour’s sanity, I didn’t do any hammering, so I spent the day cutting the planks to length.

The pile of old boards are piling up outside, I often expect to see local wildlife empaled on the upturned nails.

I started to paint my cheap Ikea shelving, a rest-bite from the hard physical work. I had to get some paint remixed because the tin I had mixed in ilminster I had left in the boot of the car that is stored at Damian’s place. This is a typical forehead slapping occasion.

17th November 2018

The sander was working overtime today. I was preparing the small bedroom floor to add the oil. Even with extraction, sawdust got everywhere. My knees ached as I worked my way round the floor, getting up afterwards was a sight to see. There was a mass of clicks from all my joints as I eased myself up. Another coat tomorrow then I can start to move thing back in, and it can be a bedroom again

I managed to nail down the floorboards I had cut a couple of days ago. This is also putting a lot of strain on the knees.

If I were to take up praying again, I know the positions, but I would need to pray to have the strength to get up again.

In the evening I took my grandchildren out for dinner at the Lock Inn in Bradford on Avon. It was my responsibility keeping an eye on them whilst Ryan and Louise took off for a weekend break. At least they are old enough to look after themselves (and the mad dogs)

16th November 2018

Gavin finished all the electrics, gave me a certificate of conformance and headed out the door, the last tradesman I would need.

He fitted a wireless thermostat, which needs a degree education to understand it.

The last job was fitting a motion sensor light in the porch. This was not as simple as it sounded. He adjusted the sensitivity so that when I walked up to the front door I would be hit by a flood of light. Unfortunately this sensitivity meant that walking around the living room also set off the light. Eventually a location was found that overcame the problems.

I worked all morning on the boiler cupboard trying to make it look a bit decent.

The next door neighbour asked how I was getting on, and threw in a thinly veiled question “When do you think you will finish?”

Meaning ” When will you stop all the banging?”

I explained my plan of action was a couple of days of banging followed by peace and quiet.

What I didn’t mention was once that was finished, and I’ve hooked up my stereo I will be playing my collection of steam hammers of the world, and Fred Dibnah’s steam train adventures.

15th November 2018

I am feeling that my life has been lived on a building site, the journey has been long, but the progress has been amazing, now I am craving for it to be over.

Gavin the electrician is in to power up the upstairs, I can see the finish line once the remaining fences have been cleared. The small bedroom just needs the floor sanding and then the oil applied.

I decided to tackle the removal of the stone hearth from the large bedroom. It is a piece of two inch thick by twenty four by twenty inches bath stone, set into the floor.

From experience I know how heavy the slab is, and I don’t particularly want my testicles jammed in my throat. One plan was to drill a series of holes and try to break it into smaller pieces, that was so hard, I lost the will to live half way through.

In the end, I lifted the slab up with a crow-bar and carefully man-handled the block down the stairs, one tread at a time.

When it was outside, I added it to the large pile of stones, then set about clearing out the big hole that it left in the floor.

There was a sense of achievement, I sat down, had a cup of tea, checked that all my dangly bits were still okay, and mapping out the next stage.

14th November 2018

Work on the large bedroom begins. More of my raw animal strength prising up the old boards. It got so physical I even had to take my shirt off.

” Ewe gross!” Kelli exclaimed when I told her, I explained that no one would see me, although my work jeans are getting heavier each day as I wipe my hands of glue, filler and plaster. One day they will crack in half when I put them on, then I know it will be the end of the job. There is something pleasing about just wiping hands on the clothes you are wearing, I was not allowed to do it when I was a kid, so the rebel in me prevails.

I take pride in wearing them when I visit builders merchants to buy materials, I get the knowing looks from the other tradesmen. I am part of a special club that I feel privileged to be a member. Often I arrive at these places with a pencil still lodged behind my ear, a true sign of a skilled man. If truth be known most of the time I had forgotten I put it there, and cursed when I couldn’t find it when I needed it. It will reappear in different places, like when I’m in the shower, it will drop on the tray where I will utter “Ah yes now I remember”. Or it will drop into the toilet when I will say “better leave it, hope it gets flushed away”

13th November 2018

Skirting board day had arrived. My laser measure is a god send, no more flexing the tape measure and taking a rough guess, this is precision. It is so good I take measurements of anything, because I can, and I don’t have much of a life here, so I get my kicks where I can.

My whole day is like a military operation, various things are going at the same time, from cutting and gluing to sanding and painting. All I had to be careful of was not to let the brush dry out.

I went round the small bedroom floor punching the nails under the surface. I am aware of the noise I have been making, and the inconvenience it is to the neighbours. Of course you cannot hit the punch quietly, so a short sharp bash does the trick.

Kelli went to look at a house today, it was very cheap, and when she got there she discovered why. It was built in 1908 and not much had been done to it since. She said it frightened her because it was dark with short corridors and small rooms. The sort of place that still has 1950’s programs on the TV. Those sort of places attract developers, who skim up the cheap properties, do them up, and sell them to people as holiday homes, money grabbing bastards! Did I just say that? I mean, money grabbing bastards. I guess we will keep looking.