Another Lifetime to go

11th April 2023

Another bad night, now a hat trick, and I don’t know what to do about it.

What keeps me awake is knowing that Kelli can’t settle, so it’s like a parent, listening out for a restless child.

Everything is on edge for the rest of the day, the stones silences, I try to keep things light, but it’s hard sometimes. I’m not sure if men are really cut out for this kind of situation, where a humorous response is met with a cutting remark.

There is not a good reply when someone says they want to die, apart from “I don’t want you to” how bloody obvious is that?

I escaped to Menards to purchase timber for the kitchen project, plus other essential stuff, bird seed and potting dirt, yes that time of year has come around again.

The weather was wonderful, which made up for the chilly atmosphere when I got back.

I tried to concentrate on cutting the wood for the kitchen doors, and getting the pieces primed.

By the evening I had enough, I had to get away, I needed breathing space, and the evening was still warm. I set off walking, I didn’t care where. That might have been the problem, there are places I know, but off the beaten track I was a stranger. I have only suffered from anxiety a couple of times in my life, this was the third. It was getting late, lights were switched off in the houses that I passed, people were going to bed, and I was walking the streets.

That is where mild panic took over, maybe driven by not having anything to drink. It was making me a tad light headed, and I was in a dodgy area.

Eventually I did find my way to the side of lake Macatowa, a place I recognised, the water was still, there was no sound, even by the docks. The stars were amazing, it was a calm time, unlike how I was feeling, one of foreboding.

Okay, I had my time away, I needed to get home. The pace I set was faster and more furious than I should have taken.

In the meantime Kelli decided to drive around to look for me.

As I got to the corner of our road, we both got there at the same time, I could barely speak.

I was still in a strange state of mind, and I hadn’t even smoked anything.

I needed to return to Earth, and several glasses of liquid later I was beginning to feel normal again.

My conclusion was that my frustration with Kelli’s condition drove me to exhaustion, and I had never quite felt like that, ever before, or my greatest fear, that I was starting to be an American. Please come for me now!

10th April 2023

Another bad night for both of us, I don’t understand because I was nodding off in front of the television, but when it was time to sleep, I just couldn’t. The hours passed, still nothing, Kelli got agitated, I didn’t. At some time we did sleep, but not a full deep sleep, but better than nothing.

Monday was our shopping day, we had just pulled in to the supermarket when Kelli got a phone call to tell her our new fridge had arrived and they were waiting outside.

We drove straight out of the car park and back home.

We could see the large cardboard box as soon as we turned into our road with the delivery man waiting patiently.

Of course we weren’t prepared, I thought it would be delivered on the 12th, so we had to hastily rearrange the garage to store it.

That turned into a full spring clean with all the crap pieces we were keeping getting pulled out, dusted off, and put at the side of the road.

I set about dismantling the desk. Originally it was a walnut veneer, but sometime in its life someone applied a coating and mock wood grain on it, then the last owner painted over the top, and then Pete come along and strips it all back.

The weather was in the sixties and fabulous, I can’t wait to get some colour into my white English legs.

9th April 2023

Today is Kelli’s birthday, usually a good day but she had a bad night which took the gloss off. We had a small party planned for the afternoon, which was in jeopardy. Gradually she settled and calmed down, we both made her cake, a carrot cake using a collection of alternative ingredients.

The party was fun and I was glad that it happened, you can’t hang on to a bad night all day that achieves nothing.

It was a beautiful sunny, warm Easter Sunday and to celebrate, I decided to wash the truck.

Shock, horror, I have been meaning to do it for ages, I had forgotten what the true colour of the vehicle was.

Earlier I had to change one of the front wheels that had a slow puncture. Normally it is a simple job, but it was difficult to undo the wheel nuts. I had to use a three foot extension and WD40 to loosen them. Once those were taken off I still couldn’t remove the wheel, it seemed jammed onto the hub spigot.

I was banging it with a large rubber mallet, eventually releasing it.

I noticed that both tyre had wear on the inside surface meaning the tracking is out, this needs to be sorted out.

8th April 2023

The wild turkeys were out in force with the puffed up males trying in vain to entice a female to have some “fun”.

The ritual consists of the male creeping around pretending to mind his own business, then sidling up behind his intended mate. The female has other ideas, all she wants is to peck at the ground, and with her peripheral vision she see old puffy coming up from the rear, and scoots off in the opposite direction.

Kelli went off thrifting with Cameron giving me some time on my own. I could indulge in lots of old git music, nice and loud, as well as making plenty of noise myself.

The one disaster today was my router decided to seize up mid way through a job. Fortunately I had a spare that I had bought off eBay a couple of years ago, so I just had the inconvenience of fitting the replacement to the table and resetting the cutter.

Having done that it, was back to making noise.

The guy across the street was doing something to his smoker that he has at the back of his driveway.

I didn’t see exactly what or why he did it, but I heard the bang. I went to see what was happening and saw the smoker engulfed in flames, a little way away I saw a petrol can, so I guess he wanted to give it a good clean.

I hope it was that and not he wanted his meat to smell like four star.

The benches were picked up today, after a last minute rush to touch up any parts that were missed.

7th April 2023

It’s strange that Good Friday is not a well documented holiday over here. Most factories and offices are closed, but I have no registration that it’s a religious holiday, same goes for Easter Monday, that doesn’t happen at all.

Still, April is a busy birthday month for me with a son, his wife, three grandchildren and my wife to arrange presents for. It means searching through Amazon for ideas, except for Kelli, she always has a go to list that she can suggest ideas for me. This year she has even made space in her closet for it.

We finished the two benches, posted them and they were sold within minutes, possibly our fastest sale ever.

I stripped both leaves of the dining table and got them stained, drying in the sun certainly speeds the process up.

6th April 2023

On the road again, first to pick-up a dresser in Hudsonville and a desk in Allendale.

The dresser had a broken drawer, not a problem, but getting it up a slope and into the truck meant carrying it up backwards, by the time we were at the top my calf muscles were bulging. After a nine minute drive we arrived at an apartment block, the chap met us at the front door. He lived on the third floor, up endless stairs and no lift. I grabbed my bulging calfs and followed the man.

The desk was just inside his flat, just one look told me that it was heavy, I checked it, it was.

I was lucky enough to go backwards down the stairs carrying the full weight of the desk.

It was so good to reach the bottom. As if the truck was perfectly designed, both the dresser and desk fitted side by side with very little space left. With that we bade farewell to the chap and headed home.

I had a table and two bench seats to finish, Kelli pulled out the dresser to make the repairs to the broken drawer. A drop of carpenters glue and a few clamps did the job.

It was warm in the sun just right to quickly dry the polyurethane.

We built up the small bench with just the holes to fill tomorrow, then it was a walk with the hounds around the block.

5th April 2023

Trumps arrest has dominated the news, and all the networks are spinning the same stuff.

It is a unique event, and it shows the state of American politics.

Most senior Republicans have rallied round the bloated ex-President.

I didn’t believe it would happen, he is such a slippery character, and has used loopholes throughout his business career to cheat almost anyone he has come into contact with.

I believe many Americans have punched the air in triumph, and this is just the start.

This country could have the only twice impeached, criminal back in the White House if the weak minded cult followers continue to support him, I just can’t get my head around it.

I finally tested out my new saw. The timber pieces for the drawer fronts came out good, this bit of kit is a long time coming, and now that I have it hopefully it will earn it’s keep.

4th April 2023

Having built the saw frame yesterday, today was assemble the saw to the frame day.

I wheeled it out to where the frame was waiting.

For once I followed the instructions precisely, making sure all the nuts were tightened down, and there were no parts left.

Now it was the setting and adjusting part to go.

First I made sure the blade was at ninety degrees, for this my digital inclination meter was very useful. Making the fine tuning adjustment was painless, and I was very pleased with myself. Next was setting the fence parallel to the blade. To check this I used my laser measuring device, so darn accurate you could pick your teeth with it.

Now I was ready for my test run, and just at that moment the rain came, I rushed to put everything under cover.

I will try again tomorrow.

We had a visit from Stephen and Kathi, the couple who presided over our wedding, we hadn’t seen them for years, so it was a wonderful surprise. Stephen was suffering from Parkinson’s disease, and his tremors were quite severe, it was such a shame to see the once articulate and active person reduced to a whispering shadow, but his wit was still present.

They only stayed for a short time, as he get tired very easily, and they had to drive to their daughters house for dinner.

As they left, a couple arrived to collect four chairs that we had for sale.

It was sad to see them go, they were the Shaker style that I liked, but we had others that replaced them. It’s just like the set for Only Fools and Horses, every episode there was different furniture in the flat, I feel like that happens here.

After they left another couple came to collect the long white dresser. She was a few months pregnant and it was to go into the baby’s room.

I helped them load it, I was glad that it went, it was a heavy bugger.

3rd April 2023

The large white Lowes truck pulled up outside the house. We were notified that the delivery of the appliances for the kitchen yesterday, and as per normal they gave a time period between nine thirty and one thirty, and blow me down it was right on the button, nine thirty.

Luckily we were ready, so I opened the garage.

Two Mexicans who hardly spoke any English man-handled three large cartons leaving them in the garage entrance.

The oven was massive and heavy, I couldn’t get it through the door to the storage room, so it will have to remain in the garage somewhere.

I also had to unload the table saw from the truck, yet another large and heavy box.

I had to remove it because we changed our shopping day to Monday, and today we were using my new shopping list that I had created on a spreadsheet. I got fed up with the words “ I forgot….” So my new plan for never forgetting anything was put into action.

However that was before a number of foods were taken off the list for health reasons.

Apart from grains that are bad, potatoes and oat milk have gone. The world is going to appear a more dismal place from now on.

I have agreed to this change as an experiment to see if I can lose weight and lower my blood pressure, other things may include living and breathing, but I’m all for experimenting.

When we got back there was the garage to sort out and projects to continue, I even managed to assemble the frame for the table saw, what a busy day.

2nd April 2023

A couple turned up to collect a small vanity bench that had been cluttering up the store room. It had been included with a maple vanity unit that we converted into two side tables, (our usual standby). Although we didn’t make much on the deal, it was more disposal of something we didn’t want anymore.

The day was definitely spring like, warm in the sun but still chilly in the shade.

We finished the long dresser, but still need to add more finish to the top, it didn’t stop us taking pictures and posting on Marketplace.

That led to a bit of interest and a possible sale.

I started on the first of the drawer fronts for the kitchen, and a couple more drawers, and helping Kelli with anything she needed.

I’m eager to start work on the garden, it looks a mess, but I haven’t touched it because of all the wildlife that takes refuge under the leaves during the winter. I have to wait until the temperature gets to fifty degrees for a week, then I can clear the winter debris.