Another Lifetime to go

11th December 2020

Kelli was over the moon and dancing around the kitchen at the news that Trump’s last ditch attempt to overturn the election has been flushed down the toilet by the Supreme Court.

It was a crazy plan to discount millions of votes in four of the swing states. It was destined to crash and burn by most legal minds in America, but with this country, anything could happen.

Now we wait for the next conspiracy to drag itself out of the cesspool.

All this was a great end to an ordinary day.

We managed to extract the two dressers and two side tables from the back of the truck, luckily without injury. These had been manufactured in the 1940’s, so we were told, which meant they were made using block-board , these will be another labour of love, oh I hate labours of love. This means hours of sanding, veneer repairs and finishing, and worst of all Kelli wants to keep them as a set, see you next year folks.

10th December 2020

It was collection day, no work in the garage, and the sun was shining. Kelli had scoured Marketplace for furniture in areas that would make an easy, and convenient collection route.

We set off for Allendale (the second trip in as many days) to pick up a pink dresser.

It had been left on the porch of a large house set back off the road. There were a collection of vehicles parked all around the place. They ranged from a small bulldozer, a four wheel dune buggy, a large RV and a speedboat. That didn’t include the truck and car in the garage.

It looked like a police pound for stolen vehicles, but that seems normal here.

Next stop was a mobile home park in Grand Rapids. We were to pick up a pine dresser covered in child’s graffiti with a broken knob.

From the look of the owner, who could barely get his beard out from the broken door, he probably gnawed it off in a fit of rage.

It was then off to another address in Grand Rapids to collect a set of screw on legs for an ottoman we had got from Goodwill a week ago.

I gave the lady a shock when I stuck my head around the garage side door and said in my finest English accent “Hello”

She was halfway up a ladder to the loft to get the legs down. Her husband had done a rare thing and put them away rather than leaving them on the porch.

That’s what porches are for over here, leaving shit on, what else?

Then we made our way home, but there was another collection to be done later.

It is always a good idea to collect stuff in the dark, I’m surprised we haven’t taken other thing by mistake, because it is often pitch black, it’s only the glow from Kelli’s teeth that lights our way.

We arrived at this address in Zeeland. The lady was there as we drove up, and guided us down the slope of their garden to a door in the basement.

This was going to be a challenge, there was a tall dresser, a long dresser and two side tables.

Once again the storage capacity of a Toyota Highlander amazes me. We managed to get all of it in, and close the doors, the interesting thing whether we will be able to get it all out again is another matter.

We devised a new game on our travels, based on the card game of snap! Every time we see a Trump flag or sign in someone’s front garden it’s the first one to shout “Idiot!” wins the point, and there’s many points to be won.

9th December 2020

Just when Kelli was getting despondent about the dresser she had posted yesterday, it was sold and picked up today.

Inside I was smug, as I alway tell her to have patience, and I knew it was priced well and it looked good, it just needed to right people to find it.

We also finished the heavy bastard and dragged it out side to take pictures. There was no way we were going to carry it inside as I almost had groin ache doing the dragging.

We were supposed to have the heating company visit to fit two vents in the sunroom, but Kelli had a lousy night and didn’t feel in the mood to have strangers in the house making a noise, so she rang to change the arrangement.

I was not impressed, because I wanted it done, Kelli rang back to reverse what she had agreed minutes before, only to be told they were going to call anyway because the technician had been held up on another job.

Now it has been rearranged for next Tuesday, really annoying.

We made a start on the dresser we picked up on Monday, I stripped the top and stained it and a repair to the side panel.

Everything was going like clockwork, I haven’t got stressed out by the number of jobs waiting to be done, no doubt Kelli has found more to collect tomorrow.

8th December 2020

I am sick and fed up with all the news reporting of Trump trying to de-legitimising the results of the election. Fortunately most of the judges have thrown them out of court, but now he is getting Texas to sue Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin to overturn their election because they used the Covid pandemic to ignore the federal and state election laws.

This is heading for the Supreme Court who must be fed up with all this shit flying around.

The reason it bothers me is all the extra complications to the immigration process that Trump has pushed through. There are new additions or alterations happening all the time, adding to even more delays to the process.

I just want a quiet life, I want to be able to return to the UK when I want to, and spend as much time as I want in the US without fixed time periods.

7th December 2020

We had to collect a dresser from Allerdale, it was nothing special, but we can make it better.

There isn’t much about, both on Marketplace or in Goodwill, so we have to get the slim pickings when we see them. That is not alway easy even dealing with people on Marketplace.

Often when we reply that we are interested in something, the seller will take a long time to answer, then it’s usually to inform us that it is sold. Many do not even reply at all which is the most infuriating.

The drive out was a welcome break because it is so easy to shut ourselves away for days on end, but we have made a good start to the month which is a bonus.

The landscape is devoid of colour, it’s like a sepia painting, you feel cold just looking out of the window. We’ve made the drive to Allerdale many times because once Kelli has a booth in a store there, it didn’t last long as the sales didn’t cover the expenses of getting there.

We worked in the garage until seven in the evening, one dresser is finished waiting for knobs to arrive, another in nearly finished, so I need to get my finger out and finish the top.

I did have a video call with my son Ryan, I hadn’t seen or heard his dulcet tones since I’ve been here, it was my fault, I often get so wrapped up in my projects that I forget everything else. If it wasn’t for Kelli dragging me inside for food I would starve to death.

It was great seeing the family again, and I must make more of an effort to keep more in touch.

6th December 2020

It was haircut day, so Kelli got out the dog shears and started hacking. What little hair I have ended up on the floor. Having a haircut in the old days meant sitting and looking at yourself in the mirror and listening to the hairdresser talking about the holidays he had taken. The event always finished with a mirror showing the back of your head, whatever that was supposed to do. It would be the only time I saw that view, and it did nothing to make my life better other than giving me an opportunity to see what I looked like from behind.

I started work stripping the paint off the table top and side leaves. We decided that we would give the table and chairs to Greer and Dylan as a wedding gift.

There is a lot of sanding required to bring it up to a good standard, I can look forward to some sore fingers in the next few days.

Kelli brought the old Christmas tree out of retirement, amazingly the lights all worked, so it now has pride of place in our living area.

5th December 2020

We sold the dresser that we were let down on yesterday to a return customer who even rented an SUV to collect it. With a struggle we loaded it,strapping the rear hatch door down to keep it closed.

They were happy, even saying they might be back again soon.

We also sold four Windsor style chairs earlier in the morning, so things were looking up.

I had a top to stain and more finish to add to another, but that was about all I wanted to do.

Kelli went off to get some supplies and came back with a gate leg table and two chairs that she found at Goodwill for $5, it will need some work but should be a cute piece.

We heard from Greer that she and her boyfriend Dylan plan to get married as soon as the licence comes through.

This was good news, Kelli as always at times of high emotion was crying with happiness.

I managed to get all the lights working on our Christmas display. I removed all the ones that didn’t light, and checked them one by one with an eyeglass. I found four that had “blown” and using the ones we got from Goodwill yesterday they all illuminated like a sign from heaven, it was another success.

4th December 2020

“One hundred and fifty one dollars!” I shouted at the man behind the counter at the post office. We had intended to send two boxes of sweets to my two sons in England for Christmas, but this was ridiculous. After shopping around for some typical American “candies” Kelli had lovingly parcelled them into two boxes using half a roll of packing tape and patiently filling out the customs forms.

The first thing that happened was handing over the forms to which he took one look at them and handed them back along with two new forms.

“These are old forms, you need to fill out the new ones” he said in an unconcerned voice.

Kelli nearly reaches over to rip his head off as he had given them to her yesterday.

“Sorry, I didn’t know there were any old forms left” which was not an answer Kelli was particularly impressed with.

I slowly re-filled out the forms as the post man took the packages to weigh them.

As I was writing out the second one I heard him say what the cost would be.

It was one of those occasions when I thought that I hadn’t heard him correctly, it was only when I heard Kelli groan that I realised that I had.

“That is outrageous” I said, the man shrugged his shoulders “That’s the cost, sorry”

Now I know it is the season of goodwill, but that is just crazy, gone are the days when you could hand it to a man on a horse who would gallop away into the distance. I’m sure Kelli could find a horse on Marketplace and I’ll deliver them myself.

That didn’t put us in a very good mood to start with, the next event nearly threw us over the edge.

We we due to deliver a dresser that we sold yesterday, it was a heavy bugger, so we struggled to get it into the truck.

As we started off towards the north side of Holland the phone rang, Kelli picked it up, it was a text to say the customer had changed her mind. She said nothing, stopped the truck, reversed it into someone’s driveway and headed back home. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I knew from her expression that she was not happy.

“I nearly broke my back getting it into the truck, now she doesn’t want it!!” The pitch of her voice raised with every syllable, my ears were close to popping when she finished.

There was no option but to take it back and unload it again.

My next thrilling episode was going to Menards to buy some spare lamps for the outside display. I rushed in leaving Kelli in the truck still seething.

In my hurry to complete the task, I forgot my glasses. Reaching the area where the Christmas lights were, it looked like there was a robbery because the stock they had looked ravaged. I located the shelf with the spare lamps, but with no glasses I was unable to find the parts I needed. Also the area was so dark you needed a torch to find your way round.

I picked what I thought was the correct ones, and made my way out. Once back to the truck, and with my glasses on, I could see they weren’t right, so I had to take them back.

Needless to say they didn’t have the ones I wanted, so another success down the toilet.

To cheer ourselves up we went to Goodwill, and I think I found a bag of spare lamps, at least they look like the ones, what are the chances of that?, we will see if I’m right.

We did have a bit of good news, we sold the buffet to a nice couple from Rockford, about forty-five minute drive away. This gave me just enough time to cut, and fit a new floor panel for the cutlery tray, as the old one was tatty, and not very appealing. I just managed to remove the masking tape holding the repaired joint together as they arrived.

3rd December 2020

I finished the last part of the decking with the addition on the bedding area.

Now I will wait until the spring to add the decking panels.

We finished the long dresser and dragged it into the house to take pictures, but it was too long for the space we had, so we had to carry it outside.

We off-loaded the heavy beast out of the truck, it came out quicker than it went in, but it was still bloody heavy.

The city finally came around to collect the piles of leaves that had been arranged at the side of the road.

There are times when all I want to do is nothing, especially in winter. I miss burning logs, but as we don’t have a open fire, a log burner is on the list to do once the kitchen worktops are replaced.

Many months ago we had a heating man come round and give a quotation for cutting two holes in the inside walls of the sunroom and fit some vents so we could tap into the heat from the boiler, as yet they haven’t turned up yet. I even had the boiler maintained by them thinking that as they came to do that they could cut the vents at the same time. That didn’t work as the guy who did the boiler didn’t have the experience to fit the vents, guess another phone call is due.

2nd December 2020

We were let down by a couple of potential buyers, who we were expecting to purchase a set of Windsor chairs that Kelli bought on a whim from Goodwill a couple of weeks ago.

We were hopeful that the Buffet, that we were quite proud of would be snapped up once the people saw it.

We had to drive to Grand Rapids to collect a piece Kelli had found.

When we arrived, it was waiting for us on the front porch. To say it was heavy was an understatement, I tried the common test to see if I could lift on end, it barely raised a millimetre.

The best option was to remove the drawers, this made a little difference, but in the end it was down to the two of us to man-handle down the steps, along a path, down another two steps, past the rubbish bins, along the pavement and into the truck.

Both our arm had stretched a couple of inches by the time we’d finished.

We headed back to meet the couple who inquired about the chairs. We laid them outside the garage whilst I got on to installing the lights along the berm as our contribution to the Christmas decorations. They may not be as complex as some houses along the lakeside, but we did our best.

I switched on the lights to test them out only to find some were not working.

I fitted my head light, and started to check for the faulty lamp just as the people turned up.

The lady said that she was looking for chairs large enough to take her husband’s fat arse. He was a tall dude, and he was doubtful that they would be big enough.

They looked, and tried them, but decided that they would not buy.

The day was not turning out to be a good one, although we got close to finishing another long dresser, the top that I stripped was looking great, hopefully that will go quickly.

We seemed to have hit the buffers a bit, although we have a bit of stock now in the garage, Kelli get despondent when they don’t go immediately, I try to calm her down, we just have to wait for the right person to see them.

Trump had a forty-six minute rant on Facebook and YouTube continuing his belief on extensive voter fraud. It was embarrassing and it took Facebook five minutes to slap a disclaimer on it.

I am certain there was something wrong with the vote, I can’t believe he got seven million people to vote for him.