Another Lifetime to go

2nd August 2020

The madness of America sometimes gets to me. The dumb ass attitude of many makes me wonder about the future.

If I wasn’t going through the residency process, or locked down by a pandemic, I wouldn’t be trapped here, not that things are wrong, quite the opposite, it’s the freedom of choice that has been taken away from me.

For several months we have nurtured our garden, both of us were novices when it came to selecting plants to fill our beds. We purchased bags of wild flower seeds, one from an on-line source the other from Aldi.

We waited patiently for the seeds to grow, diligently watering them every evening and watching eagerly as little green shoots appeared above the soil.

As they matured, some burst into bloom whilst others continued to grow tall with no indication of what they would transform into.

Still in our innocence, we wanted to know what these tall plants were? there was no signs of any buds just more height.

I downloaded an app for my phone hoping that would help us identify our collection.

Imagine our shock when we discovered that a lot of the plants that we had been feeding and encouraging were Ragweeds. Not only were these weeds poisonous, they could give allergic reaction to sensitive people.

It was a sense of utter failure that we both had to pull them up and discard them.

These must have been amongst the flower seeds that came from the on-line source.

Okay you live and learn, in future we will only buy seeds from a local source, and educate ourselves so that the bloomers we make are the right ones.

1st August 2020

I am alway apprehensive when Kelli has an announcement, mainly because it usually means a lot of work in a unrealistic timescale.

Now I’m very ambitious with my work planning, but it stretches me a little, but with Kelli “ideas” means creating heaven and earth in less than six days.

Today Kelli decreed it was removal of the front bushes day, and position the three galvanised troughs in their place, or so we thought.

It was a much harder task than we both thought it would be.

We remove one of the infected bushes, it was hard and quite messy. It required cutting the branches in order to get to the main stem, then brute strength to remove the root.

Once it came away, the job of raking up the pebbles began. It took a long time to move them, the rake didn’t work very well, I found it was easier to do it with my hands. I had to create a hole six foot by two foot to take the trough, and stop the pebbles from falling back in.

The first trough we picked had a slight twist, that I couldn’t correct. I tried to bend it in the opposite way hoping it would improve, but after several attempts it didn’t move a jot.

I levelled it the best I could, hoping the weight of soil would help (nope it didn’t) I then back filled with the pebbles. This was the first of three, I can’t wait to start on the others.

31st July 2020

A quick trip to Menards to collect some timber to finish trimming the shed. Of course we can’t leave without some plants and a couple of bags of dirt.

There are hundreds of pencils in the garage somewhere, not sure where they are, but they are well hidden. I can’t understand why, because I usually tuck one behind my ear like most old style chippy’s do. There are times when they are behind both ears, and I still cannot find one when I need it.

Whilst I was making the end trims for the shed if felt behind my left ear for a pencil, there was nothing there. I therefore had to find one in the garage, which on this rare occasion I did. When I finished with it I tucked it behind my left ear only to find there was one already there, I swear it wasn’t there a minute ago.

I have to ask the question, are my ears in some alternative universe, fully laden with all my bloody pencils?

That will explain why I find them when I’m washing my hair in the shower, or when I’m getting ready for bed.

One day I will find all the pencils, tea spoons and the odd socks I have misplaced throughout my life, until then, what’s that behind my right ear?

30th July 2020

I had just finished adding the feather board to to last side of the shed when Kelli decided to paint the front. We had bought some cheap paint from Lowes a while ago, and used it to paint a bench by the front door. It was a striking blue, almost Moroccan, so it stood out against the grey siding of the house. There was plenty of the stuff left so out came the brushes and on went the colour.

I prized off the wood that was rotten intending to replace it, but everything else was covered.

We had just finished for the day, and I had just started to water the flowers when our friendly lady duck landed on the grass to have her evening meal of the seeds that had fallen from the bird feeder.

I sat down to watch her nibbling away, not wanting to disturb my feathered friend.

She carried on with her pecking not caring that I was waiting to finish the watering.

In the end I grabbed the hose and pulled it through to another part of the garden and used the different sprays to reach the all the other plants, as Donna Duck, as we’ve named her, carried on.

There is often a steady stream of ducks waddling up past our house with their chicks trailing behind. We are alway concerned how they manage to cross the main road, there have been a few occasions when we have had to stop the traffic.

We are also fortunate to see a family of wild turkeys strutting their stuff on Dirty Larry’s land, they should be safe up to thanksgiving.

29th July 2020

“ Is it stein night yet?” I shouted as the sweat rolled down my forehead and into my eyes stinging them.

“Is it pool time yet?” Replied Kelli”

“Is it stein in the pool night yet” was the obvious reply to that.

I was determined to get the shed finished even if all my fluids drain out of me leaving me like a luffa.

It was slow job, marking out and drilling each strip was torturous in the heat.

The screws baked in the sun burnt my finger picking them up, and the damn screwdriver bit kept jamming in the screw head leading to the frustration.

I punched the air as the last strip on one side was completed, now was pool time.

It was great just drifting in the water, it was just the right temperature to throw yourself into without having a heart attack.

We both floated for an hour, then got ready to go out to dinner.

On the way we had to deliver the large dresser, that was a great sale, and fortunately it wasn’t that far to go.

Getting it into the truck was a trial, it was a heavy bastard, but with some trolleys under it we managed to manoeuvre out of the garage in into the back of the truck.

Getting it out at the other end was much harder, that meant we had to remove the drawers, but the thought of 200 notes in our hand made the lifting much easier to bare.

We had our table booked outside, in a quiet corner, but that was ruined by a couple on the next table, the guy must have been a comedian, because the girl on his table found everything so funny. Her laugh raised Kelli’s hackles, we tried a different seating arrangement to try to baffle the irritating noise.

In the end we tried to neutralise the situation by drowning them out, with our own conversation.

28th July 2020

“That son of a bitch” that was what I expected to be called by the lady who gave us a couple of pieces free last week, and we sold one of them for $200!!

This was a tall dresser in a mahogany stained finish, that was perfect except for the handles. A quick visit to Habitat for Humanity for some alternatives, and it was ready for posting.

We took a punt, the maker of the piece was a good brand, so we felt justified in listing it high.

Anyway it was snapped up the same day, as we delivered Old Crusty to a MacDonalds car park in Zeeland.

Not the most glamorous location waiting around with the dresser on show to all the

drive through customers waiting in line for their fat burger.

These two sales pushed us up to our target for the week, so we had a few days to relax before it all starts again.

27th July 2020

We finally finished old crusty. It started out as a blue crackle finish that we stripped back to reveal a wonderful oak piece. Kelli had painted the side infill panels in a serious Aqua colour.

I had finished the frame, top and drawer fronts in a clear polyurethane, and together it looked fantastic. Of course Kelli wanted to keep it, but that is not the name of the game.

It was posted on Marketplace at a high price, and within minutes she was getting requests, finally selling it to a person in Zeeland.

There are some pieces you don’t want to loose because of all the hard work that went into it, and it is a hard call, but it is what we do.

Earlier in the day we had to collect a floor lamp that her mother had bought on Marketplace. Kelli had volunteered, being the good daughter she is, but it is not alway as straight forward as it seems.

The address led us to a mobile home park, a place where house numbers do not make any sense. We searched for number 95 for ages, driving up and down the different roads where numbers went in all directions. Running out of patience, we asked a lady who was tending her front garden, she thought for a moment and then suggested that we go out of the park and enter it again by another entrance. This we did, and lo and behold we found it, along with the skeletons of past postmen who had failed to make sense of the number logic.

I put the hideous lamp into the back of the truck, and headed off to our next port of call to collect three galvanised animal troughs.

This was Kelli’s latest plan, I knew she had something in her mind because she started researching stuff last night.

It usually means something will arrive in the post or be left outside the door, however these had to be collected from a supplier in Holland. that we will be putting in place of the diseased bushes on the front berm.

This will give the place a more modern look, but there is a lot of hard work ahead to install them.

26th July 2020

There are rare days when I don’t feel like doing anything, today was one of those.

It was hot and humid, and my clothes were wet within minutes, so a pool day it had to be.

There were some small jobs I could do, but that was it.

We floated around our small watery oasis just resting, no guilt, although our output for July was a little low, we were not desperate.

That’s the reassuring thing, we have most things we need, we are not beholden to anyone, we make enough to pay the bills and feed ourselves, so what’s the hurry.

I saw on Facebook the result of the collaboration between Herman Miller and Logitech to produce the ultimate gaming chair.

Basically it is an Embody with blue details, I was a little underwhelmed it that was the best they could come up with. With a price tag of $1500 it will take some serious gamer to cough up that kind of dosh.

There has been a problem with the hedges at the front of the house, on the berms. They seem to have a disease that causes the leaves to dry up and fall off. At first I thought it was overzealous pruning, but on closer inspection there was infestation on the leaves. We tried spraying with soapy water but that didn’t do any good, so they look a sorry sight.

Last night we discussed what options were open to us. This usually means that Kelli already has a plan for their future, and it doesn’t look bright.

25th July 2020

We drove to Menards to collect a bundle of cedar feather boards that had been there a week. They incorrectly wrote down my email address so we’re unable to contact me.

Kelli had called them and they confirmed it had been delivered.

The pack was twelve foot long that meant it had to go on the roof. Luckily the fork lift driver was on hand to do the honours.

We secured it with bungees, and the ride back was slow and careful, but we managed to get back without encountering any interference from the local police.

As the pack was opened the strong smell of cedar filled my nostrils, it’s one of my favourite.

As we sat down to lunch, I had just taken my first mouthful when Kelli announced that there was some free stuff that had been posted six minutes ago, so like the fire brigade we dropped what we were doing and ran for the truck.

Encountering slow moving traffic is typical when we are out on manoeuvres, Kelli took a short cut, but that was scuppered by someone towing a boat heading down to the city slipway. Once clear, there was a clear road.

We slowed down looking for the freebies, seeing nothing.

“ How could someone have got there before us?” Kelli said despondently, before realising that we were looking on the wrong side of the road.

Then we saw them.

Two furniture pieces and a large wicker basket.

The dresser was a little beaten up, but repairable, the tall dresser was in good condition.

Getting the dresser into the truck was a challenge, but the larger unit was too big and heavy.

The answer was to load the drawers into the truck leaving the carcass for the return trip.

At the end we had some good pieces to work on all with no outlay, which is the best.

Now was the time to start the heavy demolition of the shed side, it was hot and sticky, my t-shirt stuck to my body like a second skin. On top of that there was a squadron of wasps buzzing about.

I stripped off the rotting sides to the shed, then we decided it was pool time.

The water was pleasantly warm, just right to soothe our weary bones.

After nodding off a few times, bobbing in our watery heaven, we emerged, revitalised and ready to attack the new cladding.

The perspiration came back quickly, but we persisted even though Kelli wanted to be somewhere else, preferably with air conditioning.

Most of one side was done before I admitted defeat and finished for the day.

24th July 2020

We held our daily walk around the garden checking what flowers have bloomed. It’s a good start to the day, I have found myself drawn to the weeds in the lawn. I use the word lawn loosely, the grass quality, and quantity is scratchy. In the sun, large areas dry out and die, but the weeds don’t, so as part of my daily ritual is to go round pulling up these buggers.

It might be a hopeless case, but it is therapeutic to me.

It should take most of the summer to clear them, just in time for the cold weather, then next year the whole thing will start again.

We both worked on a couple of pieces in the garage, it was very warm even with the wind machine going at full tilt.

A lady turned up with a small table she wanted painted in the same colour of a table she had bought from us at the beginning of the year. She had the paint mixed from the sample we had given her at the time, so we didn’t have to worry about that.

We cooled off in the pool, both of us feeling drained due to high humidity, I think we both nodded off for a while, like a pair of old farts.