Another Lifetime to go

12th September 2018

We got to Hudsonville with the new cabinet, we saw that two other pieces were on hold, so ever more pressure for more stuff.

Yesterday we had a delivery of a special guest for the wedding. She did insist on coming along to see Kelli’s booth.

On the way back we stopped off to pick up some decorated pallets that she saw on Marketplace. The phrase ” Oh they will be perfect for the wedding” has become all to familiar, and of course I don’t want to be accused of bring a miserable git.

The pallets were used for a wedding previously, and will take pride of place behind the food table of ours, it is like my life cannot exist without them.

Wade had come back to us with an additional cost for an employee to be present during the day, earning him the nickname ” Long-haired, spindly-legged, money-grabbing bastard”. I feel like I have paid enough, I might just dig up the turf and take it with us so that we have something to show for the expense.

“Nice patch of grass there Wade, it would be sad if something happened to it”

11th September 2018

Well the new dresser had sold almost as soon as the store opened. That sent Kelli into a spin, there was now a large gap in her space that needed to be filled. We looked in the garage for anything that could be finished quickly. Most of the projects we had needed a lot of work and all required new tops. The only piece that stood any chance at all was an old gun cabinet we picked up for free on my last trip. I would work on it whilst Kelli and Greer had some other business to attend to.

It was not difficult, it just required painting with a primer and a couple of shelves. The door did not have the glass in it, but Kelli was going to buy some chicken wire to go into it.

By the time the girls returned I had primed everything, and painted the inside. I made the mistake of saying that it would be finished tomorrow. That was the wrong answer, it had to be finished today, including fixing the chicken wire into the door frame, something I hadn’t done before. That was a bugger of a job, trying to unroll it and cut it, my temper was getting frayed. It was like trying to handle an wet eel, and the cutter was as blunt as the preverbal badger’s ass, everything was against me. Eventually we both managed to make it work, and re-built the cabinet with the new door, and it looked great.

This was the starting point.

The finished article.

10th September Monday

Kelli had arranged to pick up a large metal bin to store the beers and wine for the wedding. As we had filled the truck with furniture, I had to sit with it on my lap all the way to Hudsonville. To anyone driving past it would have looked like I was ready to vomit.

On the way we had to collect the wedding licence, as we walked out of the building Kelli started to cry, it was a touching moment, and one that will be repeated many times on that day. There will a special dispenser for Kleenex tissues on hand.

We had completed a rather striking dresser that weighed a ton. As another piece had sold at the weekend Kelli was eager to re-do the booth space adding the new one.

9th September 2018

I am always amazed at Kelli’s ability to make a buck. It reminds me of “Only fools and horses” where everything that can be sold will be sold.

This afternoon she announced that someone was coming round to pick up a small shelf that had been listed on Marketplace. This was not worth much, but she saw the opportunity to “Up-sell” (note the trendy sales blurb that I picked up from spending too much time in airports) she set out things that had been brought back from Hudsonville, and waited.

At the appointed time the lady and her mother turned up, and started sifted though the items on show. She had piercings eyes and talked non-stop.

She set aside a number of things, and then started looking around in the garage. It was a mess, as we had been working on various projects. I had to risk death reaching for things stacked up high, covered in cobwebs and dust.

She spotted a wooden bowl perched on top of a shelf unit. It was full of screws, various old crap and sawdust, of course she wanted to see that. I then had to find another container to off-load the stuff.

Gradually the pile of purchases grew, and finally we also managed to sell a couple of tables, that I had sweated blood over on my last trip. Kelli just wanted to get rid of them, so they were snapped up.

In the end we up-sold from $5 to $75, so not bad evenings work.

8th September 2018

This morning we booked the truck in to have the windscreen replaced on Monday. I still cannot believe I did that, although the truck is beautifully clean.

We did our usual trawl of the Goodwills this time looking for cutlery for the wedding. There is such a high charge for rental here, Kelli, with her thrifty eye has been acquiring all the place settings, napkins, and table clothes for a fraction of the cost it could have been, and it looks so cool.

We sat in the evening rolling up the napkin sets for each of the guests, we were so excited how they turned out.

7th September 2018

I have alway tried to be polite and respectful, waiting my turn, and holding doors open for anyone. I think it’s important that chivalry still exists, and men show good manners towards women.

However sometimes I fall short, not in a bad way, but things happen that get noted on a chart never to be forgotten, and alway replayed at regular times. Like the occasion when I was resting in the chair nibbling a snack bar when Kelli came up to me holding out her hand, wanting a touch of affection whereas I promptly placed the wrapper of the snack bar in her opened hand. There was a pause of realisation, as she looked at what I had just given her. There was the look of “What?” from me, not realising my lack of understanding. Whereas we descended into hysterics, because I then know that innocence had taken over from romance.

This innocence was repeated recently with a bag of sweets. I opened the packet, asked Kelli if she wanted one, to which she answered “Yes”, so instead of unwrapping it I just threw it into her lap. There was the same moment of silence as we both realised what had just happened, the same thought of “oops, I got it wrong again” the same hysterical laughter that followed, and the same Facebook post that she placed to all her friends.

I decided that the truck needed a good wash and polish. It got into a disgusting state because of a large walnut tree leaving a black deposit all over the roof, that a car wash would not clean off.

I suspected that It would be a bugger of a job, the shampoo just about lifted the dirt, but the paint was still stained, and required more effort to remove. Whilst I was washing the car I lifted the bonnet to top-up the washer fluid, this I should not have done. During the cleaning process, I lifted the wipers off the windscreen, the blade on the passenger side fell off. I put it aside to fix later. As I lifted the bonnet, the wipers flicked back against the glass, the one without the blade made a horrible “Twack!” as it hit against the glass, then I noticed that there was a crack in it, Just what I needed, shit!

6th September 2018

Kelli leapt from the truck screaming, my blood ran cold, I did not understand what was happening, I sat there frozen, which is my favourite position in times of conflict. She had stopped a few yards from home in the middle of the road, the door wide open. I gathered from the commotion there was an uninvited guest sharing her space. I looked about trying to find the culprit. By now Kelli’s screams had gone ultra-sonic, and I was still looking for some enormous beast. Eventually I saw the spider, after I put on my glasses. By then Kelli was trying to move it out using an envelope, but it dropped down, and scooted around the steering column. I had visions of being marooned in the road as we waited for the spider removal squad to screech along side, but with a stroke of luck the creature emerged, and was removed to join it’s buddies in the undergrowth.

Later I started to tackle some of the furniture pieces in the garage. The first being a large desk that had to be stripped down. The date stamped on the underside of the top was 1946, and boy, they certainly knew how to make things in those days.

I was getting into my stride, when Larry appeared. He seems to materialise out of nothing, no sound, not even a rustle of leaves, and it always scares the shit out of me.

He had brought back Greer’s car that he had been making roadworthy. She had bought it from the next door neighbour a week ago for a ridiculous price, and for her first car, it was a steal. The first car is always special, it’s the first step in total independence, and you never forget it.

This was my first car, with my sister standing next to it.

5th September 2018

There are still a number of things we have to do for the wedding, one of which is getting the marriage licence. This entailed going to the Ottawa county hall and confronting the county clerk. She was a fearsome lady who must have had most of life sucked from her body. There was little fun and humour in that building, although this was not the run of the mill situation with a Brit in the frame, so there were a few hushed phone called made to establish the correct procedure. At the end we were told to come back Friday to pick up the licence, guess it takes three days for the ink to dry.

Next stop was a drive to the venue to pay the balance. Wade was waiting for us, with his long hair and stubbly beard, he was not the epitome of a beach bum, his thin bony legs dangled from his baggy shorts, and the cheeks of his ass had long disappeared. He gratefully took my money, and we ticked another thing off the list.

4th September 2018

This was my first visit to Kelli’s new space in Hudsonville, and although a little smaller, it was lighter, and easier to display pieces.

We had a bit of re-organisation to do, swapping a few thing about, and loading a few things into the truck to bring home.

As the wedding date gets closer there are still many small things to do. Kelli is always coming up with new idea, some crazy, some really fun. I blame Pinterest, the wormhole that drags her off to another land every single night.

There was the table seating plan to do. I sat down with some post-it’s and a sheet of paper, and in less than ten minutes completed that task.

3rd September 2018

So I hit America on Labour day, which is ironic because no labour is done. It is supposed to signal the end of summer although it was hot as hell. Kelli showed me the inside of the garage, as the door creaked open I was full of foreboding. The sunlight flashed upon old and festering relics not unlike the first sight of the contents of Tutankhamum’s tomb. I am not sure what I can make from a chariot, but I will rise to the challenge.

After, what seems to have been months, Kelli has moved on from Star Trek the next generation to, wait for it, Star Trek Voyager. My cup, now refilled, hath flowed over for a second time, and my dilithium crystals are fully charged.