Another Lifetime to go

10th August 2018

I continued work on the bathroom, my early start schedule was ruined by rain, meaning I couldn’t set up the saw outside.

Instead I had a enthralling time on the phone, first organising my car insurance renewal, the calling HMRC trying to arrange a tax refund. Both call were recorded “for training purposes ”

Trying to use the website is total crap, I can never get an access code that works. I have tried including my passport details and I still come up with “unable to verify your identity ”

However the good new was that the rain had stopped, so I could go and get my skirting board from Trowbridge. As I had the Jag, the only way of transporting it was with the hood down. Just as I set off, it started raining again.

By the time I had it cut, and bundled it had stopped, THANK YOU GOD!

I drove back quickly. Firstly so I didn’t get wet in case it rained again, and, the real reason was I didn’t want to be seen driving a Jag with a stack of wood sticking out the top, not cool.

Back in Michigan, Goodwill had provided Kelli with another gem, something she can save for me to work on.

9th August 2018

I took the day off from the house to visit my friends Martin and Liz down in Whitney on Wye.

This is alway a wonderful drive of fast straights and tight bends, just what the Jag likes.

Martin is a walking medical enigma, as I have mentioned before, his doctors notes must fill a room. He recently hurt his shoulders, and I could tell, as his handshake usually crushed my fingers, instead it was weak and feeble. I could get my revenge after all these years and crushed his hands for once, I realised there was nothing wrong with his forehead, and a Barnsley handshake could be applied.

I always get attacked by the dogs, Riley, the boxer is my favourite. Once I get covered in slobber, he rushes off and comes back with a shoe or slipper in his mouth. Often, he will fall asleep with his head on my lap, dripping his juices over my clothes, just as well I don’t worry about the stains on my jeans.

Meanwhile in Hudsonville, Kelli had taken the shelf, and matching coffee and side tables.

8th August Wednesday

Wayne finally turned up to do my guttering, so after a quick chat, I had to take the Jag to Bristol for its service and MOT.

They say that customer service is important, and the dealer does make you feel important, but it doesn’t feel real. You just know that people are not the polite in real life. Every morning when they cuss and swear at other motorists during their journey to work, they then change into their work persona, and treat you like a god. When the keys are handed back, it is with both hands outstretched like giving you a precious object.

To me the service is an expensive clean and vacuum, but I guess it’s part of game.

I did get a F-pace courtesy car which was really comfortable, although the automatic setting of the previous driver (who must have been a small person) nearly squeezed out my juice.

Once I overcame that, it was great.

I was able to get back to the house to see how Wayne was doing. He brought his trusty old shaggy dog with him, who proceeded to follow me everywhere. He must have liked me, or I smelt like a tin of Chappie.

I took up all the floor pieces, and numbered them so that I could roll out the underlay, and finally fit the wood strips.

Normally I get in a bit of a state with this, but calmly, and precise Pete managed it without swearing.

Kelli sent me pictures of the painted shelf, and a coffee table I lovingly stripped the top.

7th August 2018

Had my appointment with the hygienist, shit! did that hurt. You would not think that a jet of water could inflict so much pain, come to think of it, they can cut wood with high pressure jets.

So forget my point, it is meant to hurt.

It would have been less painful to have had my teeth removed, cleaned, then refitted. My buttocks were clinched so tight, I could have sucked the vinyl off the chair. At the end I felt viciously abused, and I had to pay for it.

I stopped at Waitrose to buy a new saucepan, so at least I can heat up some soup, once the bleeding stops.

I also visited Windebanks to order some timber for a window sill, and a shelf for the bathroom.

Once I was back at the house I continued to cut the flooring. I am taking a bit of care, as I have some challenging places to fit round. I have began talking to myself again to slow me down, and not rush and make a mistake. I refer to this as my “Ann Hinds” therapy. Ann taught me to slow myself down, she talked very deliberately and precise, it was a calming influence.

So because of Ann, I am hoping my floor is perfect, although that may be finally down to my woodwork skills.

On the sunny side of the street, Kelli had decided to add some dumpy feet to the shelf unit. These lumps of wood were the bane of my life, always rolling around and getting in the way.

6th August Monday

I got to the cottage at 8.15am expecting Wayne, the roof man who was going to new guttering to turn up.

Eight thirty, nine o clock and ten o clock came and went, and no Wayne, typical!

I decided to make some toast using my new SMEG toaster. The first two slices went in, and I set it to medium, out popped two charred tombstones. I then turned it down a notch, two slightly less charred, but inedible slices appeared. Eventually with the toaster adjusted to “wimp” setting, it was perfect, but with most of the loaf gone I had little to enjoy.

I was able to slap a bit of paint on the bathroom walls, and that is when I noticed the imperfections in the plaster. There would be a nice smooth wall with a small gouge in the middle, so a bit of love and care required before the final coats. Andy had also created a angled transition from one wall to another. This was meant to be smooth and seamless, but felt like a wall with mumps. It probably looked okay when it was freshly plastered, but the paint accentuated the uneven texture. So more work required here.

Kelli managed to complete the bedside tables that were snapped up quickly, not even getting them to the booth. That’s the best way.

5th August 2018

I decided to start modelling up the roof components in CAD for the house extension project,but as I fired up my old steam driven laptop, I stared at the screen not knowing what to do. It has been a year since I switched off my last session, and I couldn’t remember what to do. Eventually things started to come back to me, and I was able to create Roof trusses and assemblies.

The day flashed past, all I heard was Colin tap tapping outside. He was chipping off cement from stones that he planned to use on a water feature he wanted to build.

I went for a walk around Barrington Court to clear my head, I remembered the same feeling when I did it for a living.

Kelli, on the other hand met up with some friends from a galaxy far, far away. If anything like that happened in this small village, it really would be an invasion.

Kelli continues to keep the business rolling, picking up more stuff for me to work on when I get back.

4th August 2018

I had to drive to Blissford to pick up the Jag. It’s due for its service, so no disposing of rubbish next week. It is a long drive from Barrington, along the A303. It was busy, and there were constant hold ups caused by traffic on the dual carriageway feeding in to a single lane. I used only my best expletives when the traffic stopped. I was due to meet Damian for lunch, but like so often, he forgot, and went to Beaulieu super car show instead. Fortunately I know the entry code where the car keys are stored. It felt like I had been driving all day, four hours round trip, I was shattered by the time I got back to Barrington. The only consolation was I had the top down, sunglasses on and some power under the bonnet.

Meanwhile in Holland, Kelli continued to work on the free desk pedestals I picked up in Saugatuck transforming them into matching bedside tables. She also came across a shelf part of a hutch, heaven knows what she will transform them into.

3rd August 2018

I had my list to work to starting with a visit to the dump to chuck the cardboard away. That filled the car, some of it was pretty cruddy.

Whilst I was out I went to the Leekes store in Melksham as I had vouchers to use up.

As I still couldn’t find my cutlery, I decided to buy a new set. I also picked up a new quilt, sheet and a red SMEG toaster, I was beyond myself with joy, plus I had more cardboard to dispose of.

Once back at the house, I started to paint one of the walls with a colour I had mixed a couple of months ago. The good news is, I still liked it.

I had a go at cutting some of the floor panels. Judging by my luck there will be none that require some trimming around an obstacle or two .

2nd August 2018

The first day back at the cottage was not as good as I was hoping for. There was more rubbish outside, the lawn was scorched beyond saving, and the garden was full of weeds again.

Inside, most of Andy’s tools had gone, but there was still an air of a building site. I had stopped off at a supermarket to pick up some basic food and cleaning stuff, so I was eager to get some sense of a home. The first thing to do was to get the SMEG (or SMUG as Kelli calls it) fridge working. I loaded it with the few measly provisions I had purchased, but it was a start.

I decided I needed to find the kettle and coffee maker, essential to keep me energised. I ventured into the shed (the final frontier, to go where no one has gone before) it was a shambles, and a wonder I wasn’t killed. Eventually I found them stored in the laundry basket, which was the last place I thought they would be. I found all my plates and cups, but I can’t find the cutlery. I felt myself getting frustrated with the chaos, I emptied a few boxes, which created more mess, my head was going round and round. At least the shower was finished, I decided to freshen up. However I didn’t know how it worked, and quickly found the cold burst. At least something worked.

In the evening I met up with Bob, Phillip and Helen for a good catch up. Bob had arranged a visit to new St Patrick’s Church in Bristol to see some of the carpentry pieces he had done.

The quality and craftsmanship was exceptional, you know when you have seen something special, and this, for me, was it. Bob is a very modest man, many skilled people are. We finished the evening with a wonderful Thai meal, and I found my way back.

1st August 2018

The aircraft arrived on time, but as so often happens, the gate was still occupied, so after twenty minutes we were able to disembark.

My bag was almost the first off, I expect it was desperately thrown into the hold as the plane was leaving, I think there was a handler still attached!

Damian was waiting for me in the arrival gate.

Again I had the luxury of traveling in his Rolls back to his home where my cars were waiting.

I then drove the Shogun back to my sister’s house in Barrington. It was hard to keep awake, not having proper sleep on the flight was dangerous and those times where you drop off, even for a couple of seconds scare me, but some loud singing kept me going.

It felt a little strange being back in the UK where the fields were parched as badly as in the US that I had just left hours ago.