23rd July 2018
The end of this trip is approaching, and the panic is setting in. I have this week to complete the items that have money at the end of them.
Kelli had agreed to buy a plate rack from an address in Saugatuck, and as I had nothing better to do, it was me who was nominated to collect it. I tried to memorise the directions from her phone, but the moment I left the book shop I forgot most of them. I engaged gut feel, and set off to find the white pick-up that was parked in the drive.
At each intersection There were three choices, left, right or straight on, but amazingly I found the place, or rather it found me. Luckily the person selling the item was working in the garden, and saw me floundering about.
Fashion has never been my forte, I subscribe to the Jeremy Clarkson school of gentlemen attire. Denim goes with everything. One of my pet hates are cargo pants, especially on older men. Along with cargo shorts, they are the most unflattering clothes ever designed. I believe the design brief was to create something that has bulges in all the wrong places, and to make men look like aliens. They might look better on dockers or slaves, but parading down the Main Street in Saugatuck even the gays feel humiliated.
Another no no is camouflage clothing. People pay good money, when they could join the army and get them for free. Anyway what is the point in camouflage shorts? The last thing I would like to do is blend in to the background, and leave my legs exposed.
In an attempt to make me look less like Jeremy C, Kelli now prepares clothes that are co-ordinated and less like a tradesman. I now feel I’m in a photo shoot for a John Moores catalogue.
Another Lifetime to go 