17th February 2020
They say that if you look like your passport photo you shouldn’t be allowed to travel.
Today we had to get these done to send along with the documents for my residency.
We went to Walgreens as the nearest place to get them taken.
Gone are the days when you went to a photographer studio and got properly set up with proper lighting and someone who knows their way around a camera.
The area in Walgreens is pretty basic. There is a green door that doubles as the backdrop with the aid of a white blind that is pulled down. The experience is shared with just about anyone who wishes to purchase a packet of crisps, as those being photographed share the same isle.
I was the first to take the stage. Generally I have the same look, a cross between a zombie and somebody suffering with wind. The guy behind the lens had very little to offer in terms of poses. He stood in front waved the camera around and that was that. Next it was Kelli’s turn.
“Tuck your hair behind your ears and don’t smile” was the instruction, this set the scene for a bad experience. That is the one thing Kelli does not do, and did it under extreme protest.
“That’s the requirements laid down by the government” the photo man explained.
Kelli stormed off not even to want to look at the result.
The guy went off to print and crop the images and returned with them placed in a booklet.
I paid the thirty bucks and we left.
“Have you seen them yet” she inquired.
I open the booklets, the first being mine.
It was as I expected, a look dead from the eyes down. Then I opened Kelli’s.
I should have know something wasn’t right because the booklet was different to open, a force was keeping it shut. With determination I managed to get it open.
What was staring up at me was not the person I married. The photographer managed the impossible, he had taken someone who was naturally photogenic and changed her totally.
Kelli demanded to see it.
I tried to think of a diplomatic answer.
1. We had the wrong person’s pictures
2. You were distracted by someone buying crisps
3. You wanted to stick the camera up the guys arse.
4. They were using comic filters
None of these cut any ice with her, as she stared at the sight in front of her.
“Is that how other people see me, do I really look like that? She was obviously upset and angry.
As soon as we got home they went straight into the waste bin.
Kelli was not finished, phone calls ensued, and she found more information about what the requirements were, and announced the we would go to City Hall and get new ones the next day. She also called Walgreens and gave the manager a tongue lashing, who it seems, took the pictures in the first place. He offered a full refund, which was the least he could do.
In the evening, I downloaded an application on my phone to take visa photos, it was so easy that even Stevie Wonder could have done it.
Before I knew it Kelli had retrieved the photos from the bin, and could see some humour in them. She posted a request on Facebook for others to share their passport picture stories, and they started to appear, most of them were equally as bad.
We agreed to keep them, they will scare the trick or treaters at Halloween.
Another Lifetime to go 