Day 1197 Past and present

20th November 2020

I have been around the sun sixty nine times and my arms are tired.

Every year I reflect on the road I have traveled, ticking off the good and the bad aspects of my life. Some I had control over and some I did not.

It’s a time that I think about my mum and dad wondering if they would be proud of what I had become or critical of things I could have done. In the same way I look at my own children’s voyage of discovery, and how I am proud of them for how they turned out.

I think about my working life, the people who inspired me, gave me opportunity and let me prove myself.

I think about the places I’ve been lucky enough to visit, I remember standing on the side of a wide road in India thinking how I got there, and how indeed I was going to cross it.

I never thought about retirement, it was always one step away, and such a long way to go.

I think about my school friends that I’ve re-connected with, I’ve learnt about their paths, their achievements and if life turned out well for them.

All this might seem over sensitive, and self- indulgent, but it’s something we all need to confront.

I have been living my new life for three years, and it’s been so exciting, each day is new and challenging, I have my list of jobs on the house I want to do, and a garage full of furniture that needs my help. I continue to learn new skills, and still make mistakes, but I don’t care, I have time to put it right.

Kelli gave me a head mounted spotlight, a great device for seeing in dark corners, it makes me look like a Dalek.

For my birthday treat she made me a blueberry pie. I had never had one, but I alway use to say “Blueberry pie Ma” in my worst American accent, it was wonderful.

Because of the restrictions re-imposed on dining out, we opted for a take out delivery, I had fish and chips, and inhaled them, savouring each mouthful.

Later that evening, as I was resting and reading my book, came a cry from the kitchen.

Kelli was filling a carafe with elderberry juice, freshly stewed when the bottom fell away, spilling a good pint of the juice all over her and the kitchen floor.

We have a spoonful of the juice every evening because it is known to help our immune system, unfortunately we will have to go without until a new delivery arrives.