Author: peterb51

31st December 2019

Holland is not the centre of the universe when it comes to new year celebrations, unlike the rest of the civilisation the only explosion heard around here is a truck back firing.

We set off to see the new year in with our British friends Mike and Lesley. We had our bottle of wine and veggie nibbles at the ready, for an evening of fun.

Earlier we had driven to the store to collect our Christmas pieces that hadn’t sold. There were other things that Kelli had decided to remove, and possibly repaint. We are at the point of taking everything out of the place as our success rate on Marketplace was far better.

However we needed to break the spell of bad sales, I can only do so much with regards to getting product ready, Kelli is the merchandise mastermind.

She is amazing under pressure, within hours of bringing the pieces back, they were repainted, listed, and sold. From zero, she hit over three hundred dollars, including a master stroke of getting a buyer lined up on the dresser she had repainted, plus selling another one that we had yet to start.

This one was to be customised by taking away the top two drawers and replacing them with a shelf. This was more fun for me, it would allow me to chop, hack, and make something more interesting.

By the end of the evening we were nearly at half our monthly target.

This made the end of 2019 a little better. It had been a mixture of good and bad things, literally a year of two halves.

That was all forgotten as we toasted the start of 2020.

The only hat that would fit me was a tiara, the cone didn’t look right, it wasn’t until I saw the pictures that I realised what a dick I looked.

We blew our blowers fanatically, Mike’s sounded like a strangled cat, which had us in hysterics, although the champers had a lot to do with that.

30th December 2019

I worked on the large dresser trying to remove a ring that marked the top. Whatever caused it, marked the lacquer right through and could not be repaired. My only option was to strip the whole top back to bare veneer.

Kelli was off doing her errands, so I knuckled down to getting the top sanded.

It had snowed overnight, I could tell because of the groaning noise that Kelli made when she looked out the window. The dogs didn’t want to stay out very long, soon they were begging to be let in. In snowy weather they both poop on the move, like they are laying a pipe.

We still had a lot of furniture in the garage and nothing sold, December was set to be the worst month of the year.

There was a dresser that had been languishing in the garage for the last month.

It had been in the store for a while, when it sold, there was great rejoicing, but it was returned it was because the buyer didn’t like the hole that was in the top.

Previously it must have been used to support a TV, and they made a hole for the plug to go through. Kelli listed it as a Dresser/TV cabinet, so the hole was explained, but obviously not to all.

I had filled in the hole soon after I got back, but the cabinet had a particular paint finish that I thought would be difficult to match, but that was until Kelli was inspired. She managed to match the finish so well I could even see where I had filled the hole, amazing.

29th December 2019

In a galaxy far, far away there was a place called Goodwill. There resided strange items that humans had donated for other to rummage and fight over.

Kelli landed her rocket ship, and we ventured inside.

Earlier we had traveled to Hudsonville to collect a portable chopping board that was offered free on Marketplace. There was trepidation as to its condition, but what could not be fixed?

Well, when we saw what was awaiting up outside the guy’s garage there was a sharp intake of breath. It had seen better days, parts were loose, but I was confident that with a little work it could be a cute piece.

The racks inside Goodwill were bursting with stuff, people of all shape and genders were moving like zombies. Kelli peeled off as she usually does looking at things that are really low on my level of interest.

I should have known that her attention was drawn to some highly decorative fabric. She tore it of the rack like a magician revealing a rabbit. I wandered around the furniture and miscellaneous items looking for anything interesting. I passed the God books and CD’s by artists that I never heard of, inspecting a table for three dollars,that could be stripped and brought back to life. However our success rate for tables is not good, so I moved on.

Kelli, holding her multi coloured garment had taken some interest in a long dresser that was priced at forty five dollars, much too high for us to make decent money on. She seemed set on trying to get a deal on it, and went to “talk” to one of the friendly staff on the register. Next thing I knew, we were trying to carry it out the front door. The thing was so heavy, Kelli was struggling, I was struggling. Then a friendly guy offered to help, Kelli accepted immediately, now he and I were struggling to carry it to the truck. The man’s face was bright red, I thought he was going to die in front of Goodwill, what kind of advert would that be?

When we got to the truck we had to remove the chopping block unit and try to load this monster into the back. We were then joined by the guys mate who took over and loaded it with one mighty shove.

Then they lifted the chopping board unit on to the roof and attached it with bungees.

After thanking them for their help we headed off to our next adventure, to see the last Star Wars movie. Driving into the car park looking like the “Beverly Hillbillies” with furniture tied to the roof, we parked, and made our way to the movie theatre.

Cameron was waiting for us, so we all went to get our tickets. Unfortunately the only three seats available were in the front row, usually not a good place to sit unless your eyesight was bad, and you enjoyed looking up. So we decided to wait until the next showing, and went off to get something to eat.

We got back to the theatre taking our seats in the second row.

These seats were amazing, they adjusted in every way possible, including a massage, which Kelli found by accident.

Once the movie started we all felt the force, of the sound system. It was so loud that even the loudest rustle of the crisp packets did not disturb anyone.

After two hours we emerged, ears ringing, hair all disheveled, brains mashed, with far more questions than answers, but that’s typically what happens in movies made today.

At the end of the film when the credits roll, everyone runs for the door, but not here, the rest of the audience were still sitting in their seats, we were the only ones standing. Maybe the seats were more comfortable than the ones they had at home, and they decided to stay the night.

Once back home Kelli was trying to find out the make of tablecloth from Goodwill. The whole weight of the internet was engaged in researching the origin of the cloth.

Finally she found it, it was originally sold by Anthropology for over sixty dollars, so her one dollar find was truly triumphant.

28th December 2019

Following our encounter with the local police,

the first job was to fix the offending lights on the truck. I had to remove the plastic covers on the number plate lights. Naturally it was not an easy job, the screw heads were badly worn so no screwdriver would fit. After trying every implement in the tool box, I succumbed to using the battery driver to drill out the screws heads.

This took a while, but eventually I managed to get the covers off, so step one was complete.

Then we took the dogs to the beach. The lake was so calm and the temperature was unusually mild, making the walk really pleasant.

27th December 2019

We tried to find a place for the new television to fit. I didn’t want to mount it to the wall because they are plasterboard and would require a lot of strengthening to make it work.

It was not possible to sit it on the top of the red cabinet where the current TV is because the feet are too wide apart. We had to resign ourselves to the fact that it was too large for our room. Short of attaching it to the ceiling we didn’t have enough walls left.

The next difficult task was to tell Greer and Dylan that we could not make it work for us.

The husband of the lady who wanted the Mexican style dresser turned up, and like most men wanted to inspect every element of the piece. He checked every drawer, many times, tapped the top and sides. He may have been looking for hidden compartments, but there were none, I made sure of that.

In the evening we went to a party hosted by Steve Kubica and his wife Jackie. They had just returned from their other home in Arizona to have Christmas in Saugatuck. It was a casual affair with fabulous food, plenty of wine and a bartender.

We mingled with Saugatuck’s finest and a few others that were down in the gutter with us.

I met up with the legendary Rog Bush, the guy who ran the seating development group at Herman Miller, in the 80’s and 90’s. He had retired twenty years ago, but in his hay day he was one of the engineers that developed Action Office. Although in his eighties, was still sharp with his recollections.

Hearing his stories, talking about the famous Designers, the long hours working, the excitement of developing something revolutionary, I could see the pride in his eyes.

It reminded me of my early days with Miller when you put the hours necessary to finish the job.

I was accosted by several older ladies fascinated by my accent, I sharpened my vowels and made several English jokes, but Kelli was on hand to make sure they didn’t get too familiar. We told them the story of how we got together, which is always fun seeing their expressions.

We heard about their plans to spend three months in Florida. It’s no wonder that Saugatuck is so dead in winter, everybody is in Florida.

On the way back we were stopped by the cops.

The blue and red lights flashing, we pulled over and waited.

A long shadow was cast over the road, as the officer walked up to Kelli’s window. We knew we weren’t speeding, and she was not driving erratically, so we waited for the officer to tell us.

The reason was, we had two number plate lights out.

Kelli was calm, she didn’t have her usual attitude to cops, and showed genuine shock when told about the lights. A quick check on the licence, and insurance, and we were let go.

26th December 2019

I had found a dresser on Marketplace a couple of days ago that I thought looked interesting. I made contact, we agreed that kelli and I would pick it up today.

I sent a message to get an address, but saw that the post had been deleted. For the rest of the afternoon I checked to see if the message had been read, but it hadn’t. By the end of the afternoon I resigned myself that the seller had sold it to someone else, and didn’t have the decency to let me know.

In our anger we went to Goodwill and found a Mexican style dresser.

We took some pictures, did a quick repair to the base, and fix the bottom drawer. Kelli listed it on Marketplace, and Boom! It was sold.

The only other thing I did was to wax it all over, I like these furniture flips.

25th December 2019

Well the day was here, and after a hearty breakfast we set about opening our presents.

Kelli must have thought that I had let myself go, as she got me male grooming products.

My aroma now enters a room five minutes before I do. I had bought her a Free People Alpaca jumper, which was amazingly soft.

We started preparing for the family feast, peeling, cutting and chopping. I felt like an expert after watching the cooking shows, but Kelli wouldn’t let me use any sharp objects in case I did some damage.

We then went to the cemetery to lay some flowers on Dave’s grave. The place looked strangely different, and we had to check we had the correct one. It was a sad moment that was difficult for Kelli’s mum, who didn’t want to join us. If I had thought of it I would have added a wreath with two Bob Evans vouchers attached, he would have laughed at that.

Everybody then headed back to our place for the Christmas dinner.

I didn’t want it to be sad occasion, so I had been drinking beer all morning, so I was oiled up a bit.

It was tricky with three sets of meals being heated at the same time, but somehow we managed to get everything on the table at the same time. It was a varied collection of food covering all the different tastes. At times it was stressful for Kelli, but the spread she prepared was delicious, and I even went round for seconds.

It was only us drinking the wine, so we were both feeling the effects, and I was really firing on all cylinders by now.

First it was the handing out the presents.

Greer and her boyfriend Dylan had given us their present earlier. There was complete secrecy about what it was, meaning we had to hide in the bedroom whilst they brought it into the house.

The great reveal was a complete shock. In front of us was a 50 inch TV, we looked again in disbelief, this really caught us out.

As the presents continued to be distributed, Kelli had given each a themed basket full of small gifts, it was a great idea.

Once the place was filled with screwed up balls of paper, we prepared for the next part.

Once that was over, a play list that we had prepared earlier was fed through our music system. This was a collection of songs covering different eras and genres, it was meant to be the soundtrack to the evenings entertainment .

The idea was to find the song being played, on Shazam, and then sing along (badly) with the words. I did go a little overboard with the singing, but I wanted to see Kelli’s mum with a smile on her face, and to enjoy this brief celebration with a bit of madness.

I know I made a spectacle of myself and I’m sure that will be confirmed once I see all the bloody video that were taken.

We had a lot of fun, and I’m sure that won’t be forgotten for a long time.

24th December 2019

Finished the latest TV cabinet, and set it out to take pictures.

The flower order still hadn’t been delivered to the flower shop, so we didn’t have any firm time to get to Saugatuck. There were some things Kelli wanted to get for her mother which meant a trip to Aldi.

The message arrived at 11.00 that the roses had arrived, which gave us plenty of time to complete the shopping and the drive down.

We had nine bouquets to deliver down to the deepest part of Fennville.

We retraced our route alone the edge of Lake Michigan, which shone like a million diamonds in the afternoon sun. On the way down Kelli spotted ten deer running across the road and though someone’s garden. They are beautiful animals, it’s hard to think of anyone wanting to hunt them.

We drove on, dropping orders to some impressive houses. Then we turned off millionaires row on to the dirt tracks heading for the town of Fennville.

We were searching for a particular address in chainsaw massacre country. One track took us to a rather dodgy place deep in the woods. There was no house number, so we stopped the van and I got out to inquire if we had the right place.

I knew the moment I looked in through the front door that no flowers would ever be seen in a place like this. There was rubbish all over the floor, so I turned to signal Kelli to turn the van round, I wanted it to be facing the way out in case the toothless axe murderer came after me. Naturally Kelli didn’t understand my gesticulation, which made my movement more rapid. I had no intention for us to be murdered on Christmas Eve.

We managed to find the correct address and only had to contend with a handful of wild turkeys who were very grateful to have survived Thanksgiving.

Our last delivery was to a ramshackle collection of huts, alongside the garage were a row of crosses depicting a pet cemetery. As I climbed the steps to the front door there was a box of kittens on the porch. I never realised that they came that way, America has everything.

There were others wandering around the yard, so I guess the person loved cats. I opened the screen door and knocked on the glass of the front door. A small wrinkled lady shuffled opened the door. I was hit with the smell of a thousand cats. I quickly handed the bouquet to the lady who sniffed them deeply, I expect that was the sweetest aroma she had experienced in ages.

That ended our adventure, it was starting to get dark as we headed back to Saugatuck, the Christmas decorations were the only things lining the streets. I had forgotten that nothing stays open, not even the bars, what a sad place.

23rd December 2019

It was supposed to be a busy day for the flower shop, but a flower shop needs flowers, and that was the problem. We normally try to get to Saugatuck for 11.00am giving us four to five hours to find the delivery addresses.

But with the flower deliveries still not there, we when to Aldi to do our food shopping first.

We were surprised that there was anything left as it was so close to Christmas, normally the shelves would be stripped bare, and then others would come and take them as well.

We packed our purchases into the back of the truck and set off to Saugatuck.

We finally got there at 2.00pm but still nothing,

I walked to the coffee shop for my energy boost, then walked back, past the empty shops, closed for the winter.

There were a few deliveries that we could make in Holland so we loaded them on to our truck and headed back.

This was not as much fun as the rural ones, but the addresses are still difficult to find. There are often deliveries to the nursing homes, which brings some joy to an otherwise boring existence.

We learned later that the blooms had been sent to Memphis, another triumph for DHL.

22nd December 2019

Well the dogs survived the night, neither of them died or left any deposits in the house.

I put the shovel away, and scoured the garden for dog heaps, but still no”hard” evidence.

We had planned to meet with Chris, the guy who played guitar at our wedding, at Grandville.

Kelli was delighted, because there is a place called “Plato’s closet” which is one of her favourite resale store. At every opportunity, she searches her closet for things she can take there to sell. Carrier bags can be filled, but there is never any evidence that the closet is less full.

So she usually drops me off at a nearby Starbucks and goes off to do her thing.

However, the net result is that she brings back the same number of things that she took.

I have given up trying to understand.

I have to sit around like a homeless person, nursing a single cup of coffee, sometimes up to an hour, no one has yet come over to offer me a refill, or a blanket, yet.

We met Chris at The Olive Garden, an Italian themed restaurant. He had recently had a spinal procedure, but looked better than he had in ages. The place was packed especially for a Sunday evening, doesn’t anyone do home cooking anymore?

The waiter was extremely attentive, if I had a runny nose I’m sure he would have wiped it for me.

It was good catching up on things, and to learn, much to my innocent shock, that his girlfriend is pregnant again.

Their household is already four children, (three from her previous relationship) so he is well on the way to having his having his own backing band.

Just as we were leaving a lady of ample proportions fell off her chair, four staff members rushed to help, but they would have needed another two to hoist her back up.

That was the entertainment for the evening, I’m glad to report that the chair was unhurt, and was soon supporting another pair of buttocks for the rest of the night.