Author: peterb51

21st September 2019

It was fifty-two weeks today that we were married, and I cannot be with my wife on this special day. Although tomorrow is our actual anniversary, the Saturday is the special one.

I feel so much has happened in a year, and I have to pinch myself for what we’ve achieved.

I am so disappointed that I can’t be with her, and go to our favourite restaurant, which has since closed. Pereddies has been there ever since we’ve been together. Our guilty pleasure that carries a lot of memories. I have lost count of how many Lasagnas I have eaten, and bottles of J Lohr we had consumed.

I went for a walk around Barrington Court, and noticed the apple orchards laden with fruit. Even at the cottage, back home, the neighbours have apple trees they don’t seen to care about. The fruit drop off and roll down the slope. As kids “scrumping” was a sport, and you risked death to get a handful of Granny Smiths.

Maybe they are not so desirable these days, and if they’re not wrapped in plastic, they are not the real thing.

Blackberry picking was a weekend recreational event, sometimes the only one where families would work together to gather bowlfuls of berries to make jams or crumbles.

Thankfully the practice is still maintained by those who enjoy homemade food.

20th September 2019

I went around the entire cottage with a toothbrush doing a final touch up before I left.

Swept the living room floor, finding more dirt even though I had cleaned it the night before.

I changed the bedding, then wasn’t sure if I should put the dark side up, or the light side. There were creases in the duvet cover that I was not happy with, did they look less obvious with the dark pattern or the light one? I was swapping pillows and covers around like a mad person, texting Louise for advice, as she is the expert.

Finally decided on dark side up, that contrasted nicely with the yellow cushions.

I made sure the shower was spotless, making sure there were no hairs in the plug hole. That is something that grosses me out, so I was on my hands and knees meticulously wiping everything down.

I flushed the toilet about ten times just to make sure it was free of anything, and shoved a load of Domestos in it for good measure.

I wrote a little note in the visitor book, and checked the pen worked okay, I was really nervous, but also excited that the guests would find it as cool as I do.

I drove to Bath to meet up with Rob for lunch.

We always go to Indian Temptation as they do a wonderful Masala Dosa, I could eat it everyday.

After that I headed down to Barrington to stay with Nicola and Colin.

Kelli had decided that she no longer wanted to use the petrol mower to cut the grass. The fumes were so bad that it made her feel sick, and left he clothes smelling like a mechanic.

She found a push mower on Marketplace for ten bucks, so off she went to buy it. I was never happy keeping cabs of petrol in the shed, the fumes that came off of them on hot days were overpowering, also when you ran out there was a three mile drive to get more. I was planning on getting an electric, or rechargeable one, but Kelli got in first. I guess both of us will have arms like Popeye the sailor man.

19th September 2019

I just spent the day cleaning the cottage for the onslaught of guests for the coming week.

I was getting super critical and even polishing my pencils.

Louise came up in the evening to set up the breakfast things, and generally prepare the welcome pack.

I had the job of writing up the instructions for the electrical equipment. Including the dish washer I have never used. One person cannot create enough dirty things that needs a dishwasher. It is quicker to do it by hand.

Kelli had a result doing her “dumpster diving” by finding a metal trellis. We were on the phone together when it was interrupted by her saying “What was that!?” There was a lot of rustling and screeching of tyres, more rustling, and finally she said “ I just found and old metal trellis by somebody’s trash bin, I’m going to get it”.

I’m used to this happening, some of our greatest pieces have come from things left at the side of the road. I’m just not that comfortable being the one to load it into the truck, I always afraid people think that I’m stealing it. My heart pounds, I sweat profusely, the black and white striped jumper sticks to my body, and it’s difficult to see through the slits in my mask.

She got all excited as she loaded it into the truck, I’m hearing all this sound trying to imagine what is going on, finally she get back on the phone like nothing has happened, and continues with the conversation we were having.

18th September 2019

Eight years ago, when my studio was still operational one of my monitor speakers developed a fault. There was a problem with the power supply that couldn’t be easily fixed without sending it back to the manufacturer.

Needless to say I didn’t do that. Instead I bought a new pair and consigned the old ones to the storage cupboard.

Fast forward to today, my friend Dave was coming over so I suggested we take a look at the faulty monitor. If anyone can figure out how to fix it, he could. I had marked the duff unit with red insulation tape, so the first step was to remove the back panel. We checked the circuit board for signs of heat damage, and found nothing. I powered up the unit, there was no load buzzing noise, so I fed an audio signal through it.

The music came through without any crackle, buzzing or distortion. I could not believe it, had it cured itself?

I left it on test for the rest of the day without any sign of the fault returning. I just can’t get over it.

17th September 2019

I bought a roller blind for the bedroom, and had a lot of fun installing it, can you have fun installing a roller blind? you can when another booking comes in for a five day stay next week. This means we have bookings right up to the end of the month, and a quick text to my sister just to check I am able to stay with her. This is crazy, but exciting. The latest booking was a guy who stays in the area once a month for work. I hope we make a good impression.

I managed to get rid of the huge tree stump. It had lived on the slope ever since Nicola and Colin dug it up last year. It was so heavy then, I guess I was hoping it would rot and save me the trouble of taking it somewhere.

I managed to load it on to the trolly and carefully wheeled it down to the car. It was a bit of a struggle, but not half as bad as when I got to the recycling centre.

Dragging it out of car was simple compared to getting it up the steps and lifting it over the bar so that it could drop into the skip. Thank goodness someone helped me do this. It made one hell of a thump as it hit the metal floor.

16th September 2019

I had a lot of crap to get rid of down the recycling centre in Trowbridge.

With the bookings coming in I needed to clear the slope of the bags of wood and stones I had been accumulating.

I took the opportunity to dispose of a sack full of old curtains that had sat in the shed for years.

I finally finished the shoe rack, not a work of art by any stretch of the imagination, but something that will do the job.

The lady turned up to collect the lawn mower, another satisfied customer.

I decide to do some laundry (sorry, that’s what the Americans call it) I had bought a new box of Fairy non bio pods, so all I had to do was pop one in the machine.

The box was clearly marked “ Child-lock system” I think they should add “and pensioners” to that list. There are instructions on the lid which of course no-one reads. That’s an admission of failure for a man to follow instructions, so I tackled the problem freestyle. The design of the packaging consisted of a plastic tub, a top rim and a hinged lid. I managed to completely remove the top rim, although it is not meant to be removed because there are a number of locking tabs that have to be all depressed at the same time. Somehow I managed to do this with a couple of spoons and a fork. I was now looking at an open tub half full of Non-Bio pods. I then noticed two more plastic tabs that held the lid into the top rim, now that it had been removed from the tub,it was easy to release the lid from the rim.

This took me fifteen minutes and a broken nail to get to my pods, they should use this product for a Mensa test, no bloody kids would ever get through it.

Please note I did manage to get the lid open using the approved opening method, but you do need finger nails which was unfortunate that I broke the one I needed. Just as well I don’t do much washing.

15th September 2019

Another Airbnb booking came in for next weekend. Panic stations, are we ready? Where the heck am I going to stay? Luckily Nicola came to the rescue.

I sat with Louise to make a list of outstanding things I need to do, like a roller blind in the bedroom, one of the reasons why I wake up at 5.30am every morning.

The important thing was to clear the rubbish from the slope at the bottom of the garden.

I can’t believe it has happened so fast, even without any feedback, people are booking from just the description and a few pictures.

I managed to sell my B&W speakers to a friend of Ryan, these had been in storage for years, so I’m glad that they have a new home at last.

14th September 2019

I was up early to help Louise take her furniture to Trowbridge Weavers Market. This happens once a month, and it has been quite successful for her the past few months.

The weather was warm and sunny, and perfect for the open air event.

We got all the pieces in two cars and headed off to set up the pitch.

It was the first time I had been there, so I took the chance to look around and even bought a Swiss cheese plant for the cottage.

I got back and decided to make more wooden bunting pieces that Louise wanted for decorations.

This is when I realised how thick I am sometimes.

I made some smaller pieces a couple of weeks ago. I cut up a load of pallet strips that I had “in stock” and made a jig to put on my chop saw to cut the correct angle, it took a long time, and led to a load of off cuts.

This time, after thinking about it for a few minutes, it led me to setting the saw at twenty two and a half degrees, cutting it in one direction then flipping it over and cutting in the other, so a perfect forty-five degrees, and no waste,and done in ten minutes.

I even had time to make a pallet wood planter for my new plant.

Midway through the afternoon I had to return to the market to help pack up and bring back what hadn’t sold.

Louise was a little disappointed at not selling more, but that’s what happens, there’s no pattern, some you win.

The day was improved when we had our second AirB&B booking for the cottage for the weekend at the end of the month.

13th September 2019

Today is a day for doing nothing, not something I like to admit, but some days I am uninspired.

After my first cup of coffee I decided to clean the lawnmower and put it on Marketplace to sell.

It had been a while since there was any grass to cut, so what was there was dried on hard.

A bit of elbow grease and a bit of car dashboard shine and it looked pretty decent.

I took some pictures and waited.

It took only a few minutes for the “views” to start, and then in the evening the questions started.

By 10.00pm it was pending, and due for pick-up Monday, so even more space in the shed.

My old school chum Rob came over, so we walked into the town to the Ale, cider and Curry pub for something spicy, and boy was that hot. Because of the subdued lighting we both bit into a pepper thinking it was a French bean. What followed was Rob doing an impression of me trying to talk, and me trying to do an impression of him trying to talk.

All that came out of both of us were grunts, gasps and steam.

12th September 2019

The last fixing went through the wood strip and the log store structure was complete.

The last part was fitting a roof. I had decided to use feather edged boards, something I was not familiar with. I opened the pack and spent a while staring at the pieces wondering how the heck they fitted. I tried it one way with the tapered edge at the bottom, however when I placed the next piece on top the angle of the roof changed dramatically. This couldn’t be right.

In desperation I reached for the oracle, YouTube.

I came across this old guy who was explaining how it was done. He droned on about the different types of cladding, feather, square edge, five inch, six inch, and on.

Twenty minutes in I was asleep, I woke up with a start, realising I had missed the important part, which meant running it back and rewatching it. When he got to the point of defining the calculation for a cubic foot of timber I gave up again.

I went back to my log store structure and turned the feather board around with the thick edge at the bottom, bingo! That was how they were oriented.

A few minutes later everything was finished, I was now looking at a complete log-less log store.

I finally managed to sell the old composter to someone on Marketplace, I only got £5 for it, but at least I didn’t have to take it to the dump.

The girl turned up in a Nissan Leaf, and I couldn’t help thinking that I was only going to get a fiver for something I had advertised originally for twenty. Was she only interested in it because it was a fiver? I was hearing “tight ass, tight ass” going around my head, and as she handed me the money, I smiled, gritting my teeth.

It reminded me of a time in Holland when Kelli and I went to pick up a furniture piece. It was advertised at twenty five dollars, but we made an offer of twenty, and the lady said no. As a final response we offeredtwenty two, as that was all the cash we had on us, she accepted that, a difference of two frikkin’ dollars. No wonder she squeaked when she walked back into her house.

I had a wonderful evening with Jeanine and Mark listening to stories of discreetly trying to collecting sunflowers in Bavaria, and recollections of gaping green shorts from Mark’s childhood made me chuckle all the way home.

We all carry amusing stories around with us, and it’s great to be able to share them, as long as we are brave enough to admit to them.