Author: peterb51

11th September 2019

I continued work on my log store, dodging the rain, checking the weather on my phone, no rain, shaking my fist towards the sky.

This means I have to turn off power to my extension cable, carry the saw back into the shed, and run back to the house. Then it stops, and I check my phone again. It says no rain, but now I don’t believe it, so I go outside and check the sky. It is bright blue sky and warm, so I start getting the tools out again.

The structure of the log store is complete, but I need timber to complete the cladding.

So off to Wickes again for supplies. Whilst there I witnessed the worse case of workman’s crack I have ever seen. It was so bad that the wind whistling over it sounding like a moose mating call.

There should be a polite way of letting the person know what they are displaying. I think a red flag that can be placed into the crack darkness might work.

I met up with the gang at the Mint Room for another wonderful Indian meal. The evening was spoilt by a loud mouthed drunken Londoner.

In America this would be a typical red-necked Trump supporter, where the brain cell he had was stored down the crack of his arse.

10th September 2019

I needed a hair cut, but according to Kelli I needed one weeks ago. It wasn’t exactly down by my knees, but not easy to style. So I rang my regular guy and agreed a time in the afternoon.

This gave me enough time to finish the privacy screen and cut timber for the log store,

I walked up the road to the bus stop, and waited a few minutes or it to arrive.

I’m getting used to this mode of transport, and it doesn’t bother me that it gets full of people of similar age. I did notice that most of the people getting on were using their bus passes. The journey in to Bath was marred by an old guy who had a hacking cough, so loud that the windows rattled. It was a death cough if ever I heard it, so I looked around to see if the bus had a defibrillator. It didn’t, so I guess the driver would just open the door and chuck him out.

I arrived at Hair Connections, and Mike was pleased to see me. He open up a bottle of Prosecco, and after two glasses I didn’t care what my hair looked like, although he didn’t have a lot to work with to start with.

I’m always amused with hairdressers, and whether they actually cut much off rather than just moving it about, but I think he did a good job, I certainly felt a bit light headed, although the wine didn’t help.

Back at the bus station, I overheard some older people talking. They kept mentioning “The good old days” when things were this and that. I hope I never fall into that trap, I don’t believe those days were better, just different. I accept that petrol was fifty pence a gallon, but I was earning ten quid a week. The cars we drove weren’t very good. Motoring was a race to between the engines blowing up or the body rusting away, that’s why you joined the AA or RAC, just so you could get home. I used to drive to work with a trolley jack and full tool box in the boot. Many a time when I had to do repairs on the side of the road, there is not that uncertainty today.

It is true that younger people are more fixated by social media and smart phones. They have no friends, they don’t go out, the only excise they get is going to the toilet, and they eat shit. The “Good old days” had three television channels, now there are hundreds, but “Dads Army” is still shown on them.

So to hear people talk that way makes me smile, I enjoyed my generation, it was significant, and I have traveled this road, picking up new technology and making it work for me. I have gained experience that no-one will ever ask me for, and for everything new I have learnt, I’ve forgotten something old, which usually means my bloody password.

9th September 2019

I fixed the last of the trim pieces to the privacy screen, I concluded it wasn’t a fence because it wasn’t solid. I wanted it this way, the neighbours weren’t bothered, as I was doing it, and they weren’t paying for it, they went along with my design.

I’m not sure they fully grasped the concept of my off-set slatted privacy screen. I am waiting for them to comment, that in order for the screen to act like a solid fence they have to remain perfectly still, and look straight at the slats, they dare’t move their heads, even a few millimetres otherwise they would look straight through the gaps and maybe see me scratching my arse.

Walking up the path would be like a flicker book that replicates the movement of a cartoon. I don’t know what the effect would be if they’re walking up their path and I’m walking down mine, maybe some strobe like phenomena causing both of us to have an epileptic episode.

8th September 2019

Finished off the neighbours side of the screen, then went off to meet up with Damian, and to play with the little darlings.

I have made the journey so many times, I almost go on automatic. I used to enjoy using the Jag, but it was hard to keep to the speed limits, and other drivers always tried to goad me to go faster. In the Shogun it is quite different, I am almost invisible, just one of many silver vehicles on the road, and, it keeps me driving at the correct speed.

7th September 2019

I made a start on the privacy screen between me, and my neighbour. An early trip to Wickes ensured that I had all the materials I needed to do the job. The positions of the posts were already determined by existing holes, so it was just a matter of making them fit properly.

I wanted the fence to have the same appearance each side, so I went with offset vertical strips, allowing a view through at certain angles.

I set out the position of the main horizontal beam and marked everything out for the through mortises on the posts.

This was when I realised the pieces of timber I had were too short. Now most skilled people would have established that from the start, but not me. For some obscure reason I measured between the posts and not from the outside to outside, Dickhead!

Another trip to Wickes ensued.

I cut the tenons and assembled them with a sledge hammer(it was all I had).

I built the rest of the frame and carried it to the place on the low wall.

With a bit of effort and the sledge I got it into position.

Luckily the neighbours were away, so I was able to clamber into their garden to begin fixing the vertical slats.

I kept working until it got dark, but once I stopped, I stiffened up, like one of those festering old gits I used to make fun of.

With where the workmate was, and the number of trips up and down the garden path to cut wood, I guess I must have walked a few miles.

But it was starting to look good.

By the time I had finished I was looking forward to having some food, that was the time Kelli rang for a chat. My tummy was rumbling, and she was munching, which made me hungrier. Eventually I had to tell her that I needed sustenance, and threw something in the oven quickly.

I fell asleep watching a bit of television, and woke up just in time to go to bed, sad.

6th September 2019

I needed a different space, I’ve been looking at the same things for days, I needed to get out, so I took the oldie’s bus to Bath.

The day was not great, but I was dressed for any eventuality. That was tested as soon as I got off the bus. I went to open my umbrella, and immediately it was blown inside out, the fine cotton threads attaching the fabric to the frame snapped. It is a sad sight to see when it happens to anyone else, but totally tragic when it happens to me.

Fortunately the rain didn’t last long, so the fight with the flapping fabric was short lived. As I walked up through the town from the bus station there were these individuals strategically positioned up the street ready to spring on any unsuspecting individual innocently stopping to answer some of their questions.

I have learnt to spot these people, usually young men and women with clipboard. It is fatal to make eye contact as they sense your vulnerability. I send out waves of hate ahead of me, that usually clears a path.

Once that hurdle has been achieved I can enjoy my day out.

I made my way to the post office only to find it closed, and redirected to an area I had just walked from. I also needed a new saucepan, I have managed with one for quite a while, but decided that it is more normal to boil things at the same time, rather than one at a time.

Then I had to remember which size I already had, they all look different hanging on the rail, and is it normal to have several pans the same size, or should they be different?

I stood there for a while just looking at the different pans, transfixed, in a coma-like condition. I could have stayed there all day, but I made my decision and chose a larger one, now I can cook a large can of baked bean in one go.

I went into Paperchase, to look around. I love paper, writing pads and journals, I have so many of them already, but there is something about a new note book that lures me into the place. I resisted, and as I left there was a downpour, furiously I fought with my flap of cloth to protect me, fortunately it stayed up for the minute or so that the shower lasted.

I had lunch in the Chapel cafe, my treat for endure the bus journey.

I headed back to the bus station to join the hordes of grey topped people waiting for their transportation.

This is an amazing perk, and although I mock it, I appreciate what it gives to older people, I can’t wait to get old myself.

5th September 2019

Kelli had been busy on the furniture front completing a cabinet that sold in under an hour of it being posted on Marketplace.

I put the first coat of paint on my shoe rack, only after I’d painted it white, Kelli suggested I change the colour, because white is boring. She constantly takes the piss because she thinks I only ever use black or white, which is totally not true, I also use grey.

Okay, I am a bit reserved with my colour pallet, I have to be guided by the experts, or influenced by what I’ve seen in magazines.

The decor in the cottage is a departure from my usual safe options, but I’m sure once Kelli gets her hands on it there would be an explosion of colour.

That’s what I love about our home in Holland, most of the choices were made by her, and once I see it, I love it. The only input I had was helping with selecting the colour of the bedroom. I suggested painting it the colour of fresh orange juice, my favourite breakfast starter. So every morning I wake up to a room resembling a bowl of Jaffas.

4th September 2019

Today is the day that Kelli gets to talk to an immigration attorney for an hour, for free!

I was able to join via WhatsApp so I could hear answers to the questions she posed.

She had already given the guy the background before I joined, so we were able to jump straight in.

Firstly I was glad to hear that my chances were greater that the 1% I was give by the lawyer I spoke to. I’m doing a lot of preparation now that I understand what is required.

The rest of the meeting was geared around the green card application, that was a much more time consuming process, not in the form filling, just the waiting.

The attorney sounded a good chap, very helpful and knowledgeable.

Kelli then hit him with the request for the fee he would charge to help us through the maze.

His answer took my breath away. Considering there are on-line packages much cheaper, I had to question his value adding position.

Of course you never let out any audible sound when you hear the number, it’s just not cool, and I had to administer the smelling salts to myself, Kelli also showed great restraint.

Was the meeting worth it? Of course, getting a second opinion is alway worth it, and it validated the line of detail that I am preparing.

3rd September 2019

With this unexpected time on my hands I need to be productive, so I will bring forward projects that I had earmarked for next spring.

These include building a screen between myself and my next door neighbours.

As it is my way it won’t be an off-the-shelf solution.

I started making a shoe rack out of some scrap timber.

I’m sure I could have bought something already made, but I have to remain busy to keep my mind into drifting into misery.

I glued up wood to make panels of the necessary widths. I had set up my workmate on the slope at the bottom of the garden, this meant that most of the time my tools would roll off the damn thing. I spent most of my time picking stuff up. Putting it down, it rolling off, picking it up again. To anyone watching I appeared to be doing acrobatic exercises, and in the evening it felt like it.

2nd September 2019

It is labour day in the US and that’s where I should be, but instead I’m moving my washing machine back into its place in the utility space.

I took the opportunity to make a shelf to give more storage.

I planned it like a military operation, cutting and painting the supports, marking out the shelf with anal precision. I started at around 9.30am expecting to finish at 1.00pm with a nice lunch at the end of it. The reality was more like 4.00pm. What the hell took me so long?

The support didn’t take long to fit, apart from one that was fixed to a solid wall.

It was the age-old problem that I suffer from, tolerances. I always like small gaps, and this is my downfall. Hours spent with a sanding block removing a little material at a time, then seeing if will fit. “Just a little bit more” I muttered.

Each time I had to walk down the garden path where I had my tools, so I must have walked miles.

Eventually the shelf slid down onto the supports, like a precision part. I wiped the sweat from my brow, and made myself a cup of tea in quiet celebration.

Back in the USA.

To cheer Kelli up, Cameron took her to an animal sanctuary. This Kelli’s favourite place to be, surrounded by little furry things. I’m sure, left to her, our house would be filled with cows, pigs, and chickens. It would be a full time job picking up all the crap they drop. I have to get back home to stop that happening.