Another Lifetime to go

17th November 2018

The sander was working overtime today. I was preparing the small bedroom floor to add the oil. Even with extraction, sawdust got everywhere. My knees ached as I worked my way round the floor, getting up afterwards was a sight to see. There was a mass of clicks from all my joints as I eased myself up. Another coat tomorrow then I can start to move thing back in, and it can be a bedroom again

I managed to nail down the floorboards I had cut a couple of days ago. This is also putting a lot of strain on the knees.

If I were to take up praying again, I know the positions, but I would need to pray to have the strength to get up again.

In the evening I took my grandchildren out for dinner at the Lock Inn in Bradford on Avon. It was my responsibility keeping an eye on them whilst Ryan and Louise took off for a weekend break. At least they are old enough to look after themselves (and the mad dogs)

16th November 2018

Gavin finished all the electrics, gave me a certificate of conformance and headed out the door, the last tradesman I would need.

He fitted a wireless thermostat, which needs a degree education to understand it.

The last job was fitting a motion sensor light in the porch. This was not as simple as it sounded. He adjusted the sensitivity so that when I walked up to the front door I would be hit by a flood of light. Unfortunately this sensitivity meant that walking around the living room also set off the light. Eventually a location was found that overcame the problems.

I worked all morning on the boiler cupboard trying to make it look a bit decent.

The next door neighbour asked how I was getting on, and threw in a thinly veiled question “When do you think you will finish?”

Meaning ” When will you stop all the banging?”

I explained my plan of action was a couple of days of banging followed by peace and quiet.

What I didn’t mention was once that was finished, and I’ve hooked up my stereo I will be playing my collection of steam hammers of the world, and Fred Dibnah’s steam train adventures.

15th November 2018

I am feeling that my life has been lived on a building site, the journey has been long, but the progress has been amazing, now I am craving for it to be over.

Gavin the electrician is in to power up the upstairs, I can see the finish line once the remaining fences have been cleared. The small bedroom just needs the floor sanding and then the oil applied.

I decided to tackle the removal of the stone hearth from the large bedroom. It is a piece of two inch thick by twenty four by twenty inches bath stone, set into the floor.

From experience I know how heavy the slab is, and I don’t particularly want my testicles jammed in my throat. One plan was to drill a series of holes and try to break it into smaller pieces, that was so hard, I lost the will to live half way through.

In the end, I lifted the slab up with a crow-bar and carefully man-handled the block down the stairs, one tread at a time.

When it was outside, I added it to the large pile of stones, then set about clearing out the big hole that it left in the floor.

There was a sense of achievement, I sat down, had a cup of tea, checked that all my dangly bits were still okay, and mapping out the next stage.

14th November 2018

Work on the large bedroom begins. More of my raw animal strength prising up the old boards. It got so physical I even had to take my shirt off.

” Ewe gross!” Kelli exclaimed when I told her, I explained that no one would see me, although my work jeans are getting heavier each day as I wipe my hands of glue, filler and plaster. One day they will crack in half when I put them on, then I know it will be the end of the job. There is something pleasing about just wiping hands on the clothes you are wearing, I was not allowed to do it when I was a kid, so the rebel in me prevails.

I take pride in wearing them when I visit builders merchants to buy materials, I get the knowing looks from the other tradesmen. I am part of a special club that I feel privileged to be a member. Often I arrive at these places with a pencil still lodged behind my ear, a true sign of a skilled man. If truth be known most of the time I had forgotten I put it there, and cursed when I couldn’t find it when I needed it. It will reappear in different places, like when I’m in the shower, it will drop on the tray where I will utter “Ah yes now I remember”. Or it will drop into the toilet when I will say “better leave it, hope it gets flushed away”

13th November 2018

Skirting board day had arrived. My laser measure is a god send, no more flexing the tape measure and taking a rough guess, this is precision. It is so good I take measurements of anything, because I can, and I don’t have much of a life here, so I get my kicks where I can.

My whole day is like a military operation, various things are going at the same time, from cutting and gluing to sanding and painting. All I had to be careful of was not to let the brush dry out.

I went round the small bedroom floor punching the nails under the surface. I am aware of the noise I have been making, and the inconvenience it is to the neighbours. Of course you cannot hit the punch quietly, so a short sharp bash does the trick.

Kelli went to look at a house today, it was very cheap, and when she got there she discovered why. It was built in 1908 and not much had been done to it since. She said it frightened her because it was dark with short corridors and small rooms. The sort of place that still has 1950’s programs on the TV. Those sort of places attract developers, who skim up the cheap properties, do them up, and sell them to people as holiday homes, money grabbing bastards! Did I just say that? I mean, money grabbing bastards. I guess we will keep looking.

12th November 2018

Back to the grind, I picked up some skirting board on the way through to the cottage, Wayne and his girlfriend were already working on the porch. Fortunately the weather was fine, and ideal for working outside.

I set about finishing the flooring, then moved all the old boards into the truck to take down to the tip.

Went shopping at Wickes for more floorboards, and then on to Brewers to purchase some finishing oil, boy! That was pretty expensive.

By the time I had got back Wayne had finished, he did a very good job, and he is a genuinely nice chap. He always brings his Labrador that sneaks around sticking his nose up your arse (if you are lucky).

11th November 2018

Great to have a lazy day, the joints certainly have been tested this week.

It is getting close to one year that I have been living off Nicola and Colin’s hospitality. They have been really generous, the only thing I can do is take them out for the occasional Sunday lunch. This gives Colin the opportunity to indulge himself in his favourite subject, food. There is no quantity that would defeat him, and I am convinced that if he was marooned on an island with other survivors he would be the one to start eating them.

He is a creature of habit, and was peeved that his favourite table had been given to someone else, Nicola calmed him down by quickly shoving the menus under his nose.

I took a stroll around the village, autumn is such a wonderful time. Barrington Court has a great collection of trees, and is popular with walkers all the year round, I feel like a local, and through Nicola and Colin I know many of the villagers.

The walk put me in a good planning mode for the week ahead.

I got back to find Colin foraging for food again, a few hours had passed so I guess the sequence starts again.

10th November 2018

It is my seventh week wedding anniversary. In that short time it went from warm and sunny, to cold and snowy. So as I’m not in Holland, Kelli sent me a picture, it looked a bit bleak. Now this will not last, it is not the proper snow that lasts months, and everybody hates, that will happen either before I land causing delays, or after I get there and I won’t give a monkeys because I will be home with Kelli.

The work continues, I had to get more floorboards so that I can finish the small bedroom. I cut everything I needed and left it to acclimatise.

I then drove to Ikea to get some cheap shelving. I don’t know how they can sell it so cheaply. For twenty pounds you get a four shelf unit 171cm high, 77cm wide and 28cm deep, a coat of paint and it’s just what I need.

That was the easy part. Parking, or finding a parking place was a nightmare, it took me twenty minutes to find a place because I got caught in all the traffic leaving.

Then I was held up by people drifting about, like a mass of zombies getting in my way. At one time I thought I was in Sweden as I didn’t hear any English spoken. I knew exactly what I wanted, but I still had to follow the path, through all the displays and market place. Eventually I found the display, I made a note of all the parts and locations, and headed off towards the wear house grabbing a trolley on the way. I managed to find everything , the next obstacle was the checkout. The queue snaked forever, I joined the zombie trail, I hated that. Eventually, I reached the checkout, and I was still alive. Now the design of these trolleys leave a lot to be desired. They didn’t carry the long pieces, and they kept falling off, much to my annoyance and embarrassment.

Eventually I got back to the truck that I had parked at an odd angle due to limited space and useless driver. Fortunately I got back before the owner of the car parked next to me returned to see how little space I had left them to get in. At least something was on my side.

9th November 2018

Ouch! everything hurts, my knees, hands and shoulders, it even hurts to type. All this is from laying floorboards. I thought the hardest job would be lifting the old boards, but that was just the start of it. I was hoping to keep the old wood to use on a future project, but they were full of worm holes, so unfortunately they will have to be dumped.

Out of interest I timed myself laying one board length, it was over sixteen minutes!!!. I was disgusted with myself, until I analysed it. I had to mark and cut the piece, measure the gap, cut another piece to fit-in. I then had to fight to engage the tongue in the groove, mark and drill ten small holes. I then blocked and chocked to close the gaps, and bang in the nails. However there was also the time collecting the nails and hammer that I had left in another part of the room. I suppose the main point is not the speed but the quality of the installation, so sixteen minutes it is,………unless I can get it down to fifteen.

The crowning glory of the day was meeting up with Jeanine, Phillip and Bob for a meal at Comptoir Libanais a fantastic cuisine experience. It is easy to forget that different food, especially from different cultures enhances our own, and the great, and entertaining company will stay with me for ever.

8th November 2018

I started laying the floorboards, and by the end of the day hunger hit me I had only laid about a third of the floor. The area I had done was the most complicated, so it was to be expected. I hope to get it finished by Saturday.

I was expecting Andy round to touch up the plastering, but as usual he failed to turn up. I will be so glad not to rely on tradesmen for a long time.

There was no text or any of the usual excuses which is so unprofessional, I will be taking him off my Christmas card list.

I decided to eat out, well I had too as I had eaten all the food I had in the house, including the tuck Nicola brought round on Tuesday.

I walked down to the Bear expecting to order a leak and Stilton pie, which is fabulous, but when I read the menu it was all Indian cuisine, not that its bad, but I was a bit disappointed. This is another establishment that must have changed whilst I was away . Bradford on Avon already has a couple of Indian, two Chinese takeaways, and a Thai restaurant, so we are fully catered for the delights of orient.

The Bear used to be a traditional beer and pie pub, and it’s really sad to have lost that.

Anyway, I was sitting at the table sipping my beer ( leaving most of it to have with my meal) when a guy came out holding a carrier bag with my meal inside!! It was a bloody takeaway!!!.

I had to quickly down my beer and walk back to the cottage with my carrier bag swinging in my hand. As I had drunk so fast, when I hit the fresh air, that was it, blurred vision, head spinning, all the signs of intoxication.

I staggered along the pavement, trying to walk as fast as I could, so that my food didn’t get cold. It didn’t help that I was hungry, and had drunk alcohol on an empty stomach, but eventually I got home, and had just enough strength to open the container. If only I had looked at the sign outside the pub, it used to say “Ale, cider and pies” now it read ” Ale, cider and curry house”

It pays to be more observant these days.