Another Lifetime to go

5th September 2019

Kelli had been busy on the furniture front completing a cabinet that sold in under an hour of it being posted on Marketplace.

I put the first coat of paint on my shoe rack, only after I’d painted it white, Kelli suggested I change the colour, because white is boring. She constantly takes the piss because she thinks I only ever use black or white, which is totally not true, I also use grey.

Okay, I am a bit reserved with my colour pallet, I have to be guided by the experts, or influenced by what I’ve seen in magazines.

The decor in the cottage is a departure from my usual safe options, but I’m sure once Kelli gets her hands on it there would be an explosion of colour.

That’s what I love about our home in Holland, most of the choices were made by her, and once I see it, I love it. The only input I had was helping with selecting the colour of the bedroom. I suggested painting it the colour of fresh orange juice, my favourite breakfast starter. So every morning I wake up to a room resembling a bowl of Jaffas.

4th September 2019

Today is the day that Kelli gets to talk to an immigration attorney for an hour, for free!

I was able to join via WhatsApp so I could hear answers to the questions she posed.

She had already given the guy the background before I joined, so we were able to jump straight in.

Firstly I was glad to hear that my chances were greater that the 1% I was give by the lawyer I spoke to. I’m doing a lot of preparation now that I understand what is required.

The rest of the meeting was geared around the green card application, that was a much more time consuming process, not in the form filling, just the waiting.

The attorney sounded a good chap, very helpful and knowledgeable.

Kelli then hit him with the request for the fee he would charge to help us through the maze.

His answer took my breath away. Considering there are on-line packages much cheaper, I had to question his value adding position.

Of course you never let out any audible sound when you hear the number, it’s just not cool, and I had to administer the smelling salts to myself, Kelli also showed great restraint.

Was the meeting worth it? Of course, getting a second opinion is alway worth it, and it validated the line of detail that I am preparing.

3rd September 2019

With this unexpected time on my hands I need to be productive, so I will bring forward projects that I had earmarked for next spring.

These include building a screen between myself and my next door neighbours.

As it is my way it won’t be an off-the-shelf solution.

I started making a shoe rack out of some scrap timber.

I’m sure I could have bought something already made, but I have to remain busy to keep my mind into drifting into misery.

I glued up wood to make panels of the necessary widths. I had set up my workmate on the slope at the bottom of the garden, this meant that most of the time my tools would roll off the damn thing. I spent most of my time picking stuff up. Putting it down, it rolling off, picking it up again. To anyone watching I appeared to be doing acrobatic exercises, and in the evening it felt like it.

2nd September 2019

It is labour day in the US and that’s where I should be, but instead I’m moving my washing machine back into its place in the utility space.

I took the opportunity to make a shelf to give more storage.

I planned it like a military operation, cutting and painting the supports, marking out the shelf with anal precision. I started at around 9.30am expecting to finish at 1.00pm with a nice lunch at the end of it. The reality was more like 4.00pm. What the hell took me so long?

The support didn’t take long to fit, apart from one that was fixed to a solid wall.

It was the age-old problem that I suffer from, tolerances. I always like small gaps, and this is my downfall. Hours spent with a sanding block removing a little material at a time, then seeing if will fit. “Just a little bit more” I muttered.

Each time I had to walk down the garden path where I had my tools, so I must have walked miles.

Eventually the shelf slid down onto the supports, like a precision part. I wiped the sweat from my brow, and made myself a cup of tea in quiet celebration.

Back in the USA.

To cheer Kelli up, Cameron took her to an animal sanctuary. This Kelli’s favourite place to be, surrounded by little furry things. I’m sure, left to her, our house would be filled with cows, pigs, and chickens. It would be a full time job picking up all the crap they drop. I have to get back home to stop that happening.

1st September 2019

I had agreed to help Ryan and Louise take their old sofa-bed to the tip.

It had fell victim to puppy dog piss and many other dog related activities.

They must have thought that I loved to delve around in piss and shit so it would be a perfect job for me.

The thing was bloody heavy, with a lot of effort we got it into the back of the Shogun, and headed off to Trowbridge.

The biggest problem was lifting the sofa bed up the steps and into the residential waste dumpster.

This guy stepped forward to help us, his enthusiasm first jammed Louise’s foot in the stairs, then when we got it to the top, smacked her in the face as he tried to lift it in the dumpster, she was not impressed.

What was worse, he threw it into the wrong dumpster.

We drove from there as fast as we could with Louise looking like she had gone three rounds with Mohammed Ali.

I finished re-fitting the skirting, the smell of Grip-Fix filled the house, mmm, it all was coming together again.

31st August 2019

I took my time marking out the sub floor panel with the new hatch. I didn’t want to rush and bodge the job.

By mid afternoon the sub floor was back in position, all that was left was the hardwood flooring to cut and fit.

By the evening the flooring was down, and surprisingly it was nearly perfect, it was starting to look as it had always been.

Kelli had been helping to set out flowers at a high society wedding. From what she had told me, there were lots of them.

Although flowers can look fantastic, the time in which they are appreciated is just a few hours, then they get trashed. For our own wedding, all the table arrangements were either kept, or given to the guests.

30th August 2019

I was down at Sainsbury’s at 9.00am to purchase heavy duty cleaning materials, this was a serious decontamination exercise.

I called in to Travis Perkins in Trowbridge to buy some new fittings.

“ Forty-two quid for a short piece of pipe and a ninety degree connection? “

I thought it was a little on the expensive side for some bits of plastic.

So I headed back to get started.

Several hours later the area was clean, and smelling a whole lot better.

I cut the pipe to length and attempted to fit everything into position. I could see why Andy used a flexible, but I persevered and with the aid of washing up liquid to allow the pipe to slide and rotate I managed to get it fitted.

I was quite pleased with myself, and would have patted myself on the back until I realised where my hands had been.

At least I had a functioning toilet again, and I didn’t need the help of a plumber to get it sorted.

I looked around at all the carnage, all the floor and skirting was stacked against the wall, my next task was to put everything back.

I decided to cut another inspection hatch into the floor just in case I ever needed to gain access to that space ever again, but that’s tomorrow’s job.

29th August 2019

Just when you think you have hit rock bottom, someone comes along and dumps in your corn flakes.

I had the boiler serviced, the engineer made sure all the taps, shower and radiators were all working well.

After he had left, I noticed there was a puddle of water on the bottom step going into the bathroom.

Panic set in, I looked around to see if it was dripping from upstairs, but there was no sign of any leak up there.

I was convinced it was in the pipe work under the raised floor in the bathroom.

I tried to remain calm and try to work out logically where the water was coming from.

The shower, kitchen and bathroom sink were all separate pipes, so I ran each of them in turn to see if water appeared on the step. Thankfully it didn’t, so none of those were the culprit. This just left the toilet waste.

I flushed the cistern and sure enough water poured out on to the step.

I tried to contact any emergency plumbers in the book, but none were available. I tried to contact my plumber Andy, but had no luck reaching him.

The one guy I did get hold of couldn’t get to me before the weekend, but suggested that I lift the floor myself and save a bit of money,

which is exactly what I did.

Fortunately the utility space was a self containing area of flooring that wasn’t part of the main bathroom, so removing it was a matter of removing the skirting board and lifting up the flooring. Once that was up I could remove the sub floor.

What greeted me will haunt me for ever.

Andy had joined the toilet to the sewer with a flexible pipe which had ruptured, spewing unmentionable stuff into the floor space.

It was disgusting and smelly. It took a long time to clean using my Henry hoover to suck everything up.

I removed the defective pipe and blocked the sewer pipe with an old piece of curtain.

I covered everything up planning to have a massive clean-up tomorrow.

That was not a day I wished to repeat.

28th August 2019

The only remotely interesting thing that happened came from Kelli in the US.

Single handedly she was keeping Bristol Cottage furniture going by doing what she does best, thrifting.

She managed to pick up a couple of dressers that need some loving care.

She set to work with sash clamps and glue to make them solid again.

she never sits on her ass, she is so inspiring.

27th August 2019

I was looking online for immigrant lawyers and found one in London.

I got through to a legal clerk who I gave my sad and sorry story to.

He suggested I talk to one of the lawyers in the practice (for a fee of course) and to get proper legal advice.

I had a simple question. What would be the possibility of getting a non-immigrant visa if I was declined the first time?

He told me that there would be a 99% chance that I would be declined again.

That made me feel really wonderful, the rock in my stomach came back again.

He went on to say that the Immigrant visa would be the best option, but it would take between six to eight months.

He then went on to say, making sure that his comments could not be construed as proper advice, that I should attend the second interview, as I had nothing to lose. The stars could be in my favour, and if the 1% positive chance comes up I could get my visa and travel. I would then have the option once I got there I could put in my application for residency.

“But isn’t that illegal?” I said.

“It means that you would have to stay in the US until the process was completed, so you couldn’t travel back to the UK, or return to the US until the process was complete”. the lawyer replied.

“Isn’t that visa fraud that everyone keeps referring to”?

“Yes but a lot of people do it that way”

I was getting confused, I was being told one thing and then another, one was the proper way the other, a back door method.

I needed to take time to think through my options.