Another Lifetime to go

10th May 2018

Colin the installer was there bright and early. Within a short time he was fixing the legs on to the tallest unit, and moved it into position.

There were a few minor adjustments to be made, but he carried on relentlessly until all the units were in position and looking great.

I worked on making a frame to fill a recess in the bathroom where the shower will be sited.

I also had to get rid of a mountain of rubbish that had been building up.

In an organised way I loaded the car with old wood, cardboard and plasterboard in the order that the bins are laid out at the recycling centre. Smugly, I drove off, but the centre was in chaos, apart from the plasterboard, my plan came apart as they had closed the cardboard bin, so I had to adapt a different strategy.

Emptying the cardboard on the ground, I carried the wood towards the bin. An attendant was trying to block it off, but the many people refused to acknowledge him, and continued to dump their rubbish. I joined the rebels, and finished my dumping.

I picked up the remaining bathroom items from Leekes to apply a bit of visual pressure to Andy to make more progress.

9th May 2018

Today was a landmark day, the kitchen units were being delivered. I had cleared space so that they could stored ready for the installation.

I was expecting two burly guys, bulging with tattoos and muscles to turn up with a carcase under each arm, the reality was only one chap, and the designer, Linda. It was bank holiday week, so too much sun and booze resulting in an absent assistant.

I looked at the packages, and offered my strength, or what was left of it. The sun had burnt off the morning mist, so the temperature was rising. We marshalled the boxes off the truck, and started the slow trek up the slope. I was pushing from the rear, and could hear the gasping coming from the front. To break up the journey, we established a base camp at the bottom of the garden path, and stacked the boxes there.

The poor guy was bathed in sweat and breathing loudly, I on the other hand, was relatively relaxed. Linda was carrying smaller boxes, but still dressed in a fleece. Eventually even she succumbed to the heat. One last push from base camp to living room was successful. The oven unit was the most difficult to get through the front door, but with bloody knuckles we made it. I gave the chap my bottled water which he gulped in one go. He kept mumbling that he wasn’t paid enough to carry furniture up the side of a mountain.

Once the job was done, off they went.

Colin the installer arrived later in the afternoon to bring his tools ready for tomorrow’s install.

I had driven to Leekes to collect the shower tray. I prepared the back of the Shogun ready for the load, and looked in horror as three attendants wheeled this monster towards me.

It took all of them to load it into the car, the suspension groaned, and my only thought was “how the heck will I get it to the cottage?”

Andy had not turned up in the morning, as he had another customer to attend to. I messaged him to find out when he would appear, and said that I had this monolith waiting to be carried up.

That was the heaviest thing I have moved in the whole project. The tray is a solid concrete slab over cast with a resin to form the tray, I was so concerned that we might drop it as we climbed the steps, the strain on my knees was tremendous, but eventually we made it into the bathroom, and both collapsed in triumph.

8th May 2018

I was at the tile and flooring store when it opened. I loaded up the tub and set off back to oak floor city.

” this will only take an hour” I said to my self, three hours later I laid the last piece.

The things on my list were many, mostly to do with the bathroom floor. I finished cutting the joists with a lot of half lap joints to cut.

There are days when I can cut the perfect joint, but this wasn’t one of them, it’s not critical, and will never be seen, but I try with each cut to make it good, what a big saddo.

7th May 2018

A bank holiday for most, but for me it was more floor gluing. It was really hot outside, but cool inside, however the temperature rose considerably as I got into the job. I was aware of the time limit for the adhesive, and I also had latex gloves to stop my fingers sticky. It helped for a time, and I was making good progress, but the sweat was dripping off the end of my nose, not a pretty sight. I finished off the kitchen and living room end with just the remaining half to go. That is where things started to go wrong.

Fortunately all the cutting had been done, but I had to take up all the panels and place them in the correct order for re-laying. Now that I had the appliances sitting on the floor there needed to be some rapid moving of stuff to make room.

A lot of the remaining runs were over four metres long which is tricky to handle on my own. As you get one end in, the other pops out. I resulted in placing a strip of gaffa tape to hold it down, that helped, but the drips continued.

I did what I could with the adhesive I had, but it was obvious that I would not finish it.

To finish the day I fitted skirting boards to the completed areas, and by the time I stopped for the day I was exhausted

6th May 2018

Colin continued his quest to sort out the wiring for his outside light. Armed with a rough circuit diagram brightly coloured he disappeared into the loft. My job was to paint my stair support frame with another coat of white paint. That didn’t take that long, and the heat of the day dried it quickly. Colin was still in the loft.

The badgers had a busy night chewing a hole through the fence. I volunteered to replace two panels that had been damaged.

Both Nicola and Colin have enough stock of screws, nails, paint brushes, and sandpaper of every grade to open a small hardware store. It doesn’t stop there, the cottage is always well stocked from everything from pickled onions to breakfast cereals, the words ” I’ve run out of…” is never heard.

I finished my job, but Colin was still in the loft.

I had no idea why it was taking so long. It became a running joke, we kept checking to see if he was still alive.

Eventually he emerged, bathed in sweat and a smile on his face.

4th May 2018

A day of many tasks, the first being finding a replacement bath tap column for Ryan and Louise, but no luck there. “We don’t stock that type anymore” the man from Plumb centre said. When asked what should I do, he replied “Buy a new tap” mmm, not helpful.

Drove to Bath to have my haircut, a good opportunity to have clean hair. I had a call from the kitchen people saying they wanted to deliver the appliances, that meant rushing back to put hardboard to protect the floor.

Mid afternoon Leroy and designer Linda staggered up the path. Both were amazed at the transformation which makes the hard work worth while. With the aid of my trolley, we wheeled the dishwasher and then the oven. Unfortunately the oven wouldn’t fit through the front door, so the packaging had to be removed.

I feel this is the nearly the finishing line, but by the end of next week the units will be installed, thank bloody god!

3rd May 2018

I carried on cutting and dry fitting the floor planks until Nicola arrived to help me with the wallpapering. I had decided to put paper on the double height wall where the stairs are. I decided to use a red brick design that I purchased from a company call Woodchip and Magnolia. They were not the cheapest, but they were the most convincing.

This was the first time I have tried pasting the wall, it was a much cleaner method, and after three hours it was finished. The effect was brilliant, and just what I wanted.

2nd May 2018

Well if anyone tells you it is easy to lay a wood floor, you have my permission to give them a smack. I approached the task with a little trepidation, having laid several in the past, this was much more challenging.

Adding adhesive changes the whole dynamic, it got everywhere, which was very frustrating.

I marked out the lines, after following advice shown on many YouTube videos, but nowhere did they prepare me for the chaos that followed.

The day started bad, I picked up the flooring adhesive, boy was that expensive. I knew something was up when they unlocked the safe where the adhesive was kept. Taking the lid off required a small charge of Semtex. Inside was a foil bag containing the adhesive, this had to be cut, and the adhesive squeezed out. This was the first time I got covered in glue. Then everything I touched was contaminated, my fingers were sticky. The next step was the spreading of the goo, and then the laying of the planks began. I thought this would be a doddle, but every new piece added meant getting covered in glue. I thought there had to be a better way, professional floorers can’t get in such a state, for me, progress was slow.

By 9.00pm I had done about a third, and the adhesive had gone off. I was not well prepared, I needed to be better organised.

I started to dry fit the planks, making all the cuts without the pressure of curing adhesive.

Suddenly things started to look much better.

1st May 2018

The lights went on in Wine Street Terrace, bloody hurray! The spotlights looked great, suddenly it is looking like a home again. I was so excited I decided to start the bathroom.

Nicola and Colin arrived to tackle the garden.

This has been in a disgusting state, and I just haven’t had the time, so I welcomed the help.

Soon the weeds, and a Laurel bush were in garden rubbish bags, and the place looked a little less like a jungle.

30th April 2018

Gavin the electrician was at the cottage bright and early, but not as early as the start of my day. Barrington was still asleep when the Shogun burst into life. I joined the commuters clogging the roads.

The day was spent taking crap to the dump as Gavin bored holes in my beautiful ceilings. Luckily they were in the right place, and he was able to find the cables.

I have become obsessive with sweeping the floor, I’ve done it so many times, but I still find more dust.

I wanted to prime the big wall before the end of the day, so with the diluted mix, and a clean roller I worked through the evening. Gavin had left his radio tuned to Radio 6, and after seven the music changed to the most monotonous rubbish I have ever heard, and I have a very broad musical taste, but this tested me. I had to turn it off before I did something destructive.

I don’t think Gavin would appreciate his radio buried in the garden.